Talk well and you win.

many people ask me, what can I do to make myself better and my life better?

after talking to many readers, I found that this question is not difficult to answer, it is very simple-- just talk well.

speaking itself is a knowledge and an art.

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the level of speaking can best reflect the level of EQ, but also implies a person's upbringing and quality.

01

I have always envied my friend Lingling's marriage. Having been married for almost ten years, she has hardly ever seen her quarrel with her husband and seldom saw them talking loudly.

almost every time I go to her house, the two of them talk in a whisper, and the atmosphere in the house is very good.

I am very curious. They all say that marriage has a seven-year itch, especially in today's fast-paced society, where many people's feelings come and go quickly.

only their feelings are like a jar of wine, more and more mellow.

when I went to be a guest one day, I couldn't help asking them: what's the secret of running a marriage?

A friend smiled and said, "just talk to each other patiently."

sounds simple, but it takes the joint efforts of both parties to do it.

Lingling said that at the beginning of her marriage, she made an agreement with her husband:

be silent for three minutes before losing your temper. What is the purpose of silence?

refrain from saying the sentence that hurts the other person the most.

Why would you do that?

because they know that language does more harm to a person than external harm.

they should try their best to avoid getting hurt from the people closest to each other. Over time, the two people gradually get used to this way of getting along, and become more sure that each other is the person they want. The most comfortable feeling is for two people to walk hand in hand and be kind to each other in trivial days.

02

Unfortunately, not everyone is aware of this.

in many people's lives, we tend to leave the best to strangers and the worst to those closest to us.

the reader bubble confided to me that since he got married and had children, he just couldn't control his temper.

at that time, the children were always noisy, her husband got off work late, and all the complicated things at home were left to her. Once, after putting the child to bed, I happened to meet my husband who came home from work.

all her uncontrollable anger vented on her husband.

even if my husband forgot to take out the garbage today and went to the supermarket to buy salt, she would scold her for a long time.

she can't help complaining to her husband:

"you can't even remember to take out the trash!"

"when will this day end?"

although she felt guilty afterwards, she unconsciously took it out on her family the next time she lost control of her emotions.

in this way, we say nice things to outsiders, but leave the meanest words to those closest to us.

those words often become the sharpest knives.

even if you regret it afterwards, it won't help.

03

I once heard a story from a friend:

said that he once had a business conversation with the boss of a company, and the boss drove and greeted him with a smile, which left a deep impression on his friends.

after some inspection, my friend immediately decided to sign the multimillion-dollar bill with them.

unexpectedly, a meal made a friend change his mind.

it turns out that as soon as the previously polite boss arrived at the restaurant, he changed his face and bossed the waiter around.

what's even more embarrassing is that the busy waiter served the wrong dish, and the boss refused:

looking at such a performance, a friend immediately decided to blacklist the company. How can a person who can't even control his emotions and dictate to others be expected to manage the company and business well?

my friend's intuition was right. In less than half a year, the boss's company went bankrupt because the capital chain was broken.

all good words are said to be warm in three winters, but evil words hurt people in June. Not only did he hurt others, but the boss also paid a heavy price for his temporary bad words.

04

I like what Li Kaifu said very much:

and being able to talk is a sign of high EQ.

in the face of a person who can talk, we often have more affection and admiration.

such a person, his charm is deeply rooted in his speech and behavior.

they know what to say on what occasion, and they don't make it difficult for others to make themselves happy.

his thoughts, qualities and horizons are reflected from their mouths.

because of this, they are more likely to be favored by life, workplace and family.

my colleague Xinxin is such a person.

once, a female colleague had a quarrel with her work partner, coupled with work pressure, the rent was about to expire, and the parents were forced to go on a blind date and turned their anger to Xin Xin.

although this matter has nothing to do with Xinxin, colleagues rely on a good relationship with Xinxin, so they have no choice of words when they are in the mood.

Xin Xin was not angry, but patted the female colleague on the shoulder and said:

in a simple sentence, the female colleague's heart was warmed up and her mood gradually stabilized.

in fact, each of us has negative emotions, but if we can't control our emotions in time and let them go, the harm will come back to us sooner or later.

so be less emotional and give more warmth to the people around you.

people are each other, and what you give to each other, the other person will give back.