A family, a lifetime, what is the most important? Every sentence touches the heart

Zhou Guoping once said: "it is instinct to be critical of those close to you, but it is a kind of upbringing to overcome your instinct and not to be critical of those close to you."

how many people always give the best to strangers, but leave the worst to close family members.

what is the most important thing for a family all one's life?

not a house, not a car, but every family member has the ability to speak well.

because there is love, every word should be said well;

because it is precious, everyone should cherish and respect it.

01

between husband and wife: less blame, more love

my friend Xiaomi told me such a story.

for a time, because of her bad work, she often quarreled with her husband over trifles, and when she was angry, she could say anything vicious.

once, Xiaomi scolded her husband angrily: a child who has no mother since childhood is more useless than others!

when her husband was 3 years old, his mother ran away with others and never came home.

this matter has always been a pain in his heart, and the remark of Xiaomi stabbed him deeply into the place where his heart was most seriously hurt.

her husband packed his bags and left home without saying anything.

Xiaomi, who calmed down, realized how outrageous she had just said. She sent a crazy Wechat apology, but didn't get a reply.

it was not until a week later that my husband chose to forgive her and returned home.

Xiaomi said that since then, she has known that even close lovers should have a good conversation.

Yes, home is a place to talk about feelings, and husband and wife are the closest partners.

under no circumstances can you use language as a weapon to attack each other.

because we are dearest to each other, we know where to attack is the deadliest and hurt the most.

A judge who has mediated tens of thousands of divorce proceedings once said:

"A happy marriage has one thing in common, that is, husband and wife can talk well."

A while ago, I went to attend the golden wedding ceremony of my boyfriend's grandparents. The two old men have been married for 50 years and are still in love.

my boyfriend secretly told me that my grandparents are much sweeter than young people when they talk about love.

what impressed me was that there was a cake-cutting session that day.

Grandpa mischievously dabbed a little cream on Grandma's face and kissed her spoiled:

and said, "sure enough, my wife is much sweeter than cake." everyone laughed and Grandma blushed.

before leaving, two old people took my boyfriend and me by the hand and asked:

"parents will grow old, children will leave home, and only the person around you will always be with you.

you are lovers, partners, and comrades-in-arms, so you must rest assured of each other, talk well, and get along well. "

Yes, "speak well". These four words sound simple, but they are the most respectable in a marriage.

Marriage is not a battlefield, there is no difference between victory and defeat, there is no reason to speak of.

with mercy, more affection and less blame, the family will be more harmonious and quarrel less.

husband and wife are born with a shallow bond, focusing on careful management and living in harmony until they grow old, which is the greatest blessing.

02

get along with children: hit less and praise more

A study by the University of Iowa shows that

less than 20% of the words parents say to their children every day are positive and encouraging.

each child gets an average of more than 400 negative comments a day, while only 30 positive comments.

Children keep in mind the comments of their parents, such as

"how can you be so stupid?"

"you can't do such a little thing well!"

"Don't cry, I won't want you if you cry again!"

"not even such a simple topic?"

"Why can't you do what others can do?"

"next time you do this, you won't buy anything!"

in this world, verbal violence is more serious than physical injury.

A sentence blurted out by parents is likely to cover their children's whole life like a haze.

in the recent hit drama "Little giving up", several parents' educational styles have aroused heated discussion among netizens.

once, when Xia Junshan was helping her daughter Huanhuan with her homework, she found that Huanhuan read comics instead of doing her homework well. she made a lot of mistakes, and began to curse and curse angrily, making the child cry and vomit.

then, Tong Dawei, the actor who plays Xia Junshan, called on his parents in a long post on Weibo: "beating and scolding is the most failed way of education."

as a father of three, he can understand the anxiety and struggle of his parents and accept his child's playful nature.

but he thinks that the good boy is boasted rather than scolded.

beating and scolding can not solve any problems, at the same time, it will cause psychological burden and even leave psychological shadow to the children.

when children are getting farther and farther away from their parents, they no longer believe that their parents love her.

how can parents recover when they no longer rely on their parents and no longer share their hearts with them every day?

as the sentence that netizens liked most on this Weibo said:

"when parents keep beating and scolding their children, the child will not stop loving their parents, but will stop loving themselves."

parents have a profound sense of love for their children.

anyway, we believe--

the parents' heart is good, but the expression is wrong, but for the child, the way is everything.

raising children is so hard and happy that parents know that don't let words alienate each other's love.

03

get along with your parents: complain less and be grateful

there is a question online: which moment makes you realize that your parents are old.

among them, I was impressed by the high praise answer from the netizen @ Qiuxin youthful.

she said it was "when I found that my parents were more and more afraid of me."

she said that her mother died young, and when her child was more than 1 year old, she brought her father to Beijing to live with her for a period of time.

once, while shopping, her father lost the mother and baby bag containing the baby's diapers and bottles.

my anxious and guilty father wanted to find it by herself. She complained in a bad tone:

"I beg you not to give me any more trouble, take the child and wait for me in place. In case you lose yourself again, I will be even more troublesome."

fortunately, things were finally found. After that, my father talked less and less, and soon he went back to his hometown.

she said: "in the two months since my father came to Beijing, I found that he was getting older and older, became afraid of me and depended on me.

come to think of it, it was in my impatient words that he became so careful. "

Hu Shi once wrote in my Mother:

"the most disgusting thing in the world is an angry face, which is worse than beating and scolding."

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We always think that our parents are the people closest to us, so we don't care about our bad words.

do not know that they are also human beings, and they will have seven emotions and six desires, and they will be sad and sad.