Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
when we were young, we always pursued one word, Man.
later we learned that the pursuit of perfection is futile and exhausting.
with the passage of time, I found that enough is the most comfortable state of life.
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as the old saying goes:
an eight-point life is neither muddling along nor demanding too much.
this life is just right.
strangers, keep eight points of kindness
Sun Li supported a child to go to school more than 10 years ago.
because the child's family was poor and didn't have much money to study, he almost gave up going to school. When Sun Li heard of this, he decided to help him finish his studies.
however, the child's academic performance was not satisfactory, and he failed in the first college entrance examination, but Sun Li still encouraged him to take the second college entrance examination.
later, he was finally admitted to a university in Shanghai, and Sun Li still promised to help him finish college.
who knows, kindness is not exchanged for gratitude, but is bitten back.
when he was in college, he fell in love, played games, spent money crazily, and turned to Sun Li for help when he was short of money.
until later, Sun Li learned that he squandered her kindness so much that he stopped subsidizing her.
and this student publicly criticized Sun Li because he stopped subsidizing him.
A person can be kind, but not too kind. Sometimes being too kind is stupid. Indulging blindly will only gain an inch.
Don't let your goodness become a weakness, and don't let your kindness be a reason for others to hurt you.
especially for strangers, you never know what kind of person you are giving. If you meet someone who has no conscience and is ungrateful, goodness becomes a force to encourage "evil".
the best way to deal with unwitting and troubled people is to give measured goodwill.
moderate kindness can not only help others, but also protect yourself well.
treat strangers, eight points of kindness, just right.
between husband and wife, keep eight points of space
colleague Xiaoying is in a bad mood recently and often complains to us that her husband doesn't understand her.
she said that she hoped that her husband would not go out after work every day, just stay at home and watch TV and cook with herself, go shopping and watch movies together on weekends, and spend more time with herself, so that they can have a closer relationship.
but the husband is reluctant, saying that he wants to do something he likes when he gets off work and doesn't want to spend the whole day together.
so the two had differences and had a big quarrel, which lasted for several days.
after listening to her complaints, we found out where the problem lies:
for couples who live together every day, they have no personal space with each other and have to stay together every minute. No wonder the husband can bear it!
Liu Ruoying once had such a feeling about her relationship with her husband:
but beyond that, both parties are supposed to be independent individuals.
in such a close relationship, if one party is too controlling or interferes with the other's private space, the marriage will go downhill sooner or later.
there are no couples with perfect marks in the world. Happiness comes from mutual respect and proper letting go.
between husband and wife, do not be too full, give each other two points of space, leave eight points of intimacy, is just right.
keep eight points of distance between friends
Liang Shiqiu said in "talking about Friendship":
when I was a student, I was young and ignorant, and I always felt that good friends should be close to each other, so I said everything and gave everything.
what misunderstandings have occurred between each other, but also point out directly, for fear of a gap.
but later found out that
would hear the secrets I only told her in the mouth of others;
would be mistaken for interfering in her life when she was kind enough to remind her of the problem;
even though I tried my best to her, I saw her ignore her in times of difficulty.
only then do I understand that friendship cannot be overrated, and never overestimate your position in the hearts of others.
No matter how good a friend is, you should keep a proper distance and never get too close.
everyone's thoughts are different, and we can never empathize with others.
if you get too close, it is easy to inadvertently invade other people's private space and cause conflicts.
Friendship is a very precious relationship. We must cherish it. We don't have to be intimate. It's enough to stand by each other's side when we need it.
the relationship between friends is a discipline. If you are too far away, the relationship is easy to fade;
if you are too close, it is easy to cause contradictions. The distance of
eight points is just right.
be tolerant of yourself
I don't know if you have found that in our growth track, it is always easy to live in the expectations of others.
is expected by parents to be admitted to a good university.
is expected by the boss, and this project must be done well.
is pinned on the hope of the lover, the family must be supported.
once expectations are dashed, we will unconsciously fall into deep remorse and remorse, and most of the troubles in life come from this.
try to do something wellOf course you can't be wrong, but if you get caught up in negative emotions because you don't meet your ideal expectations, you're actually too hard on yourself.
Best Actress Chun Xia at the Academy Award once said in an interview with Jiang Sida:
when people live a lifetime, how can they have both faults and faults? there is no need to keep everything in mind and bear it in mind.
instead of entangling complicated trifles in mind, it is better to be light and light.
Life needs tolerance, try to reconcile with yourself, don't be overly forced, give yourself eight points of tolerance, you may be able to live a simpler and happier life.
for yourself, eight points of tolerance is just right.
if you want too much, the loss will outweigh the gain.
when you want to hold a handful of sand, there is always excess coming out of your fingers, but if you only take eight points, it will be clenched in your hand.
eight points of kindness to strangers can not only help others, but also protect themselves;
treat lovers, eight points of good space, neither too greasy, but also give each other room to breathe; treat friends, eight points of good distance, not only will not invade other people's space, but also can maintain a stable relationship
treat yourself, eight points of good tolerance, not only will not cut corners, but also can have room for thinking.
there is a slight deficiency in being a man and doing things in order to leave room for others to get along with each other.
people who know enough is warm and not suffocating.
both comfortable and just right.
when you learn to choose and stop worrying about wanting more, you will understand:
being an eight-point person is the true meaning of a comfortable life.