A relationship that is too hard is a drain.

I don't know if you've ever experienced a moment like this:

when you're in a bad mood and want to talk to someone, the Wechat friend list turns from beginning to end, but you can't find anyone to talk to.

when I want to ask someone for help, I read the address book list over and over again, and I don't know who to call.

there are 3000 contacts and 3000 Wechat friends in my address book, but I can't find anyone I can talk to.

obviously we are entertaining different people and rushing to different games every day, but we can't find a friend who can help.

We all seem to be caught in this seemingly lively, but actually helpless, interpersonal circle.

faced with this situation, Yoon Sun-hyun, CEO of South Korea's Very Good finishing consultancy, reminds us in his book tidying up relationships, a cup of coffee is enough: it's time to clean up relationships.

he also tells us in the book:

Don't spend precious energy on unworthy places, but use limited time and energy to connect with the right people.

because the wrong person will consume your life; only the right person can let you find happiness and win the future.

01

spending time with the wrong person

on Zhihu, a netizen said such a thing:

she said that she had a childhood and loved to complain.

before, I always complained to her that she studied hard and her parents didn't love her.

after growing up, working and starting a family, she began to complain about the unfair leadership of the unit and the inconsiderate husband.

at first she understood that she was in a bad situation when she was growing up, and she kept complaining when she was a good friend.

but later, she found that this was not the case.

whenever I was in a bad mood when I was young, I would call her, send Wechat, complain to myself, and never listen to advice.

every time a netizen gets in touch with her hair, her mood becomes very bad, and her work efficiency becomes inefficient, which seriously affects her normal life.

people full of negative energy can easily mess up the lives of the people around them.

as written in the book tidying up relationships, one cup of coffee is enough time:

Yes, a bad friend will not only absorb a person's energy, but also lead a person into trouble.

Yoon Sun-hyun, CEO of South Korea's Very Good finishing Consulting Company, has personally experienced it.

when he first started working, he made a new colleague.

after work, new colleagues often invite him to high-end bars and spend all his savings.

colleagues who ran out of money began to borrow money from him.

Yoon Sun-hyun swiped his credit card in order to lend money to his colleagues, which eventually caused him to lose his credit when he couldn't afford it.

this corresponds to that sentence:

good friends, let the road go wider and wider, bad friends, let the road go darker and darker.

being with people who are troubled, tangled and hopeless is definitely a great drain on life.

02

with the right person, it will be a perfect

the first paragraph, "Sister through the Wind and waves" is a hit, one of which makes me feel a lot.

Wu Xin, who has always been a Buddhist, met the self-disciplined and strong-hearted Lan Yingying, who was ridiculed as a "loser" and wanted to withdraw from the competition. In a twinkling of an eye, Wu Xin became the brightest sister in the regiment.

Wu Xin's great reversal, I have to feel:

who I am with is really important.

what kind of people you spend with will affect you for a while and will determine your whole life.

cousin Yaya's experience is the best proof.

cousin said: "in the first year of her baby, she was in the lowest period of her life."

the arrival of the baby made her a little busy; different from her mother-in-law's concept of parenting, they had a lot of conflicts; when they had limited energy, they had less communication with their husbands, and the relationship between husband and wife dropped to a freezing point.

my cousin is a little broken in the face of such a life.

according to her words, she was like Sister Xianglin at that time, saying her sad things to everyone, like a resentful woman.

fortunately, one day, her best friend brought a lot of books about psychology, parenting, sex, as well as some delicious food and flower arrangement.

and tell her that you should set aside some time for yourself and read a good book, which may change your current state.

hearing what her best friend said, my cousin remembered how long it was since she graduated from the Chinese department.

cousin did so.

what people didn't expect is that my cousin found a solution to life's problems in the book and cured herself in her conversation with the book.

what surprised her even more was that her cousin, who had been reading, always felt that she wanted to say something and write something down.

so she created her own official parenting account and slowly built up her popularity. two years later, she started her own culture company.

my cousin has been telling me that it was her best friend's advice that brought her out of the trough and made her life different.

Han Han said:

indeed, the people who travel with you and give you advice determine how good you are and how far you can go!

Life should never be an one-man show. Running a good relationship with the right person will make your life more complete.

03

stay away from the wrong people and link to the right people

A 75-year follow-up study at Harvard University shows that

however, if we want to have good social relations, we must organize our interpersonal relationships.Leave the people we consume, and link to the people we nourish.

"organize interpersonal relationships, a cup of coffee is enough time" gives us a set of super relationship sorting methods, which can help us to establish good social relations.

in accordance with the requirements of the super relationship finishing method, we only need to do the following two points.

I. interpersonal relationships are separated and stay away from the people who consume us.

throw away useless business cards and quit unnecessary chat groups.

make a "Don't answer" list, and then change their comment name to "Don't answer".

remove unnecessary contacts, including: people who haven't contacted for more than a year; people who don't want to contact later; people who have hurt you and will be your barrier in the future; people who always pass on negative energy.

2. Make an interpersonal relationship map, distinguish the closeness and closeness of friends, find the VIP in the relationship, and link with them.

who is the VIP in our lives? The following five categories:

like-minded people;

people who are willing to stay idle with us all day;

people who help us in return when they encounter difficulties;

people who are the first people we want to share when they are happy;

people who can correct our mistakes and inspire us to move forward.

these five kinds of people are the most important people in our lives and should have the most deep acquaintance.

so how to maintain friendship with them?

the author of tidying up relationships, one cup of coffee is enough time, teaches us many ways in the book, including:

fill in everyone's information carefully;

convey love with warm actions;

send meaningful gifts to show concern;

write down friends' preferences and minefields;

do a year-end interpersonal review and thank the person to thank.

interpersonal relationships are like objects. If we don't organize them, our time, energy, and emotions will be consumed.

only by streamlining our social circle and cleaning up unnecessary people and things, can we have more energy to connect with people who are really worth it.

spending time and energy with the right people, with the people we like, and with the people who give us energy will empower our lives and make us happy and successful.

The plus size boho wedding dresses comes in lovely arrays of textile, color, designs and fits. New trendy arrivals are on hot sale now!

04

it is said that we will meet 8263563 people in our lifetime and become familiar with 3619 people, but we only have enough energy to maintain a close relationship with 3619 of them.

so don't waste your precious energy on the wrong person, but leave your limited time and energy to VIP in our lives.

from now on, organize our relationships, invite unnecessary people out of our lives, and choose to travel with like-minded, positive people.

We will have a comfortable and pleasant social circle, find true happiness, and achieve a wonderful life that is different from ours.