Destroy a child and give him a cell phone.

not long ago, the results of a survey on the quality of primary and secondary education across the country made many people realize a reality:

Children are facing more and more serious mobile phone addiction.

in primary school, more than 1/3 of children have mobile phones, and in middle school, the figure is more than 70%.

among them, 10% and 30% admit that they rely on mobile phones.

at the beginning of this year, the Ministry of Education issued a circular on strengthening the management of mobile phones for primary and secondary school students.

it can be seen that the spread of mobile phone dependence on campus has attracted attention.

Last month, a middle school in Henan Province organized students to pick up a hammer and smash their mobile phones, causing a heated discussion.

the headmaster's response is: the high school entrance examination is coming soon, some parents can't control their children to play with their mobile phones, and schools are allowed to smash them.

We also often see three or five children huddled together, holding their cell phones, either silent or shouting.

Mobile phone has become the pain of many parents' education: I can't control it, and I don't know how to manage it.

in fact, in the education quality report released not long ago, there is a truth about mobile phones:

No matter where children are, mobile phone addiction has a common "cause"-parents.

01

Mobile phone addiction, the cause has seen a news before parents

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Mr. Xu is a parent from a province in central China. His 12-year-old son is in the sixth grade.

during the National Day holiday, the son recharged more than 10,000 yuan after playing games on his mother's mobile phone for a few days. By the time they found out about it, it would be the Spring Festival of the second year.

although they finally complained to the customer service and recovered more than 7,000 yuan, they no longer dared to bind a bank card. "Children have no idea about the number in the card and feel that it is not money."

Mr. Xu said helplessly that the bottom line of playing with his son's mobile phone is "as long as nothing happens."

besides, parents don't know what to do.

think of another child I've seen.

his parents are migrant workers, and their grandparents don't control them at all.

Last year, taking online classes became the norm. He picked up his cell phone for a day, and the old man didn't know whether he was in class or playing games. If you want to take care of it, there is nothing you can do.

this is not alone.

A reporter's survey found that many children will indulge in games and socializing for a long time in the name of online classes and homework.

as Professor Liu Jian of Beijing normal University said, one of the reasons for children's heavy dependence on mobile phones is the lack of parental co-parenting.

Children are unrestrained, so they certainly don't know how to control themselves when they pick up their cell phones.

in fact, in families where parents are "co-parenting", the situation is not much better.

after all, there is a kind of parents whose bodies are next to their children, but their eyes are fixed on their mobile phones.

the mother of a sixth grader said that she and her husband hardly ever watch TV at home. Every day, they are on each side of the sofa, holding a cell phone and playing separately.

according to her observation, children are also mobile phones, often hide in the room to play games, no matter how to listen.

A report shows that if parents have mobile phone dependence behavior, the proportion of their children's mobile phone dependence is almost doubled.

that is to say, parents who like to play with mobile phones are more likely to raise children who are addicted to mobile phones.

I think so, too.

in families invaded by mobile phones, everyone looks at the small screen in front of them, no one speaks, no one communicates, I laugh at me, you play yours.

Family members have become roommates who share a wifi.

Children become mobile phone "vagrants" ignored by their parents.

02

if you want to destroy your child, give him a cell phone

see a lot of parents, and the way to appease your child is simple and rude-throw him a cell phone.

the child who was originally crying was instantly quiet, the parents liberated their hands, the child found happiness, and everyone was happy.

but at the same time, we also know that many parents can only suffer the consequences.

in Yangzhou, a girl with 900 degrees myopia is only two and a half years old.

when she was more than one year old, she played with her mobile phone for a whole day. She was very quiet without crying or making noise, so she saved a lot of worry, and her family went with her.

when vision problems are found, it is written in the medical record that the use of electronic products for a long time too early has caused irreversible consequences to the children's eyes.

this is what happens when a child's life is just beginning.

parents repent and have no medicine to take.

in fact, eyesight is only a superficial phenomenon affected by mobile phones.

before vision problems manifest, children's cognitive, emotional and social abilities may be affected to a greater extent by mobile phones, according to researchers at the China Institute of Standardization.

for example, children who lack communication with their parents will become more and more indifferent and have cognitive biases when their values are not stable.

there was a 10-year-old boy in Chongqing who secretly bound his mother's bank card to buy game equipment, which cost more than 30,000 easily, which is the family's living expenses for a year.

there is also a teenager in Yueyang, Hunan, who is addicted to live broadcasting and threatens his parents to give money by not eating or drinking. In just two months, he spent more than 20,000 yuan.

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A 13-year-old girl in Jiangxi quietly transferred 50,000 yuan from her mother's mobile phone and ran away from home to Wenzhou just to meet netizens who were playing games together.

they don't know what tens of thousands of yuan means to their families, nor do they know that this capriciousness that crosses the bottom line will giveWhat kind of harm parents bring.

they are still young, but they have already come into contact with the grotesque world of adults.

they are holding mobile phones, but with time, they are gradually alienated by mobile phones into young people with incomplete values.

parents' negligence results in the closure of children; the closure of children aggravates the parents' powerlessness. It's like an inextricable cycle.

it seems that the culprit of alienating families is mobile phones.

in fact, the answer to the bell requires the person who once fastened the bell-- the parents.

03

the best tutor is to teach by words and deeds

everything pays attention to one yardstick: excessive control will lead to rebellion, and overindulgence will lead to loss of control.

nowadays, many children's dependence on mobile phones is the result of uncontrolled indulgence.

if you want to unlock the powerless knot that mobile phones bring to your family, parents should remember two things.

1. Draw up the "Code for the use of Mobile phones at Home"

there are no rules and no rules. This is especially true in families with children.

New York Times reporter Nick Bilton said he found a strange phenomenon in his interviews over the past few years.

many technology industry leaders who have made billions from electronics and the Internet restrict their children's use of electronic products.

usually, most of them do not allow their children under the age of 10 to use electronic products. On holidays, they can only use ipad and mobile phones for half an hour to two hours.

Children between the ages of 10 and 14 can only use computers to do their homework and will not give them smartphones until they are 14 years old.

Bill Gates' three children were not allowed to use mobile phones until after their 13th birthday.

good parents should know how to make rules for the use of mobile phones at home.

when the mobile phone can be used, how long it can be used, and what it is used to do, all know each other, abide by it together, and be open and transparent.

2. Lead by example, teach by example

in Jobs' family, every day at dinner, neither parents nor children take out their cell phones, and they talk about books, history and all kinds of interesting topics together.

this is a kind of parents' words and deeds.

when parents put down their phones, children put down their phones. With emotional flow and electronic products in the family, it withdraws from the space between parents and children.

some people say: every excellent child has the shadow of his parents; just like behind every problem child, there is a lack of parental upbringing.

Teaching by deeds and deeds is the best tutor. Children's habits are imitated by their parents at first.

if the parents go to bed early and get up early, the children will go to bed early and get up early. If the parents are gentle, the children will learn to be gentle and polite.

similarly, if you want your child to let go of his or her dependence on the phone, put it down first.

the sun is just right in May. Put down your phone and go outside for a breeze to see the scenery. It is a clear sky that is not found on the small screen.

when you get home from work, put down your phone, talk to your children about what happened today, and read books together is the best rest.