Don't overestimate the relationship, don't test the hearts of the people.
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
the world, the world, is between people.
living in this world, what we can't avoid every day is to deal with people, the familiar and the unfamiliar.
if you have experienced more, if you have seen more people, you will gradually find that what warms you most is the heart, but it may also hurt you the most.
you think that if you sacrifice a little, the other person will see your sensibility, but in fact, he will only make more progress;
you think that if you give with all your heart, the other person will return with the same sincerity, but he will only take it for granted.
sometimes, the human heart is as invisible as the sun.
the more seriously you look, the more painful your heart will be; the more you expect, the greater your disappointment will be.
so, no matter who you get along with, never overestimate your relationship, let alone underestimate the coolness of the human heart.
01
never overestimate the relationship
there will always be a moment in life when you suddenly realize that the fate between people is just a journey.
those happy moments, after all, can not escape a sentence: love is easy to fall, the heart is easy to change.
there are some people who can turn around at any time for their own benefit when you give them all your heart and heart.
recently, "Golden years" has been a hit, and there is a plot that makes people have mixed tastes.
the heroine, Jiang Nansun, was born with an excellent birth, and she is a daughter who is spoiled by thousands of people. However, her boyfriend Zhang Anren is from a mediocre family.
it's wrong that the door is not in charge of the house. at first, the Nanson family did not approve of this relationship.
Nan Sun has been arguing with her parents for a long time. She firmly believes that although Zhang Anren has no money now, he strives to make progress, and more importantly, no one can tolerate and spoil himself like him.
however, a family crisis exposed the true face of the boyfriend.
because his father failed to invest in the stock market, the Nanson family went bankrupt, which not only lost all their houses, but also left them heavily in debt and nowhere to live.
everyone discussed whether or not to move to the house where Nan Sun shared with his boyfriend for a few days.
however, Zhang Anren, who has always been obedient to his girlfriend in every way, is unwilling, and even puts forward the "three-point theory":
first, we really don't have a large place to live and can't accommodate so many people;
second, if the other party knows who we are at school, I'm afraid we'll go to school and have a bad impact.
third, I think we should first find a hotel to stay in, so that our address will not be exposed to each other.
what I mean is that I don't want to get involved in this!
what's even more ridiculous is that this house was rented by Nan Sun's mother for her daughter's sake.
who would have thought this was a boyfriend who had been dating for many years?
through this, Nan Sun also learned a truth:
not all sincerity will not be disappointed, and all "you think" is just "you think".
so never overestimate your relationship with anyone.
Love, friendship, or even family affection, because we are lovers, we naturally expect from each other-
hope that our efforts can be rewarded, and that no matter what happens, I am firmly supported.
Long for a perfect white homecoming dresses that flows around your curves, flattering your height? Shop now at prices that will make your jaw drop.
but life often backfires.
all over the world, people come and go, and no one is irreplaceable.
A good relationship is to treat each other sincerely, so if the other party can't do it, I'm sorry.
02
never underestimate human nature
if two people get along with each other, we should not expect too much from others, then we should always be vigilant to ourselves and not pay blindly.
there is an effect in psychology called the Desi effect.
it originally said that a moderate reward can stimulate a person's motivation, but if the reward is too much, it will make people lose interest.
this effect also applies emotionally.
proper giving is a necessary nutrient to maintain a relationship, but if you try your best to be good to a person, your giving will become dispensable and be slaughtered.
Sister Zhang, a relative, deeply realized this.
she is a very economical person and is reluctant to spend money. on weekdays, what she has to buy is close to her child's husband, but her decades-old habit has been completely thrown away because of her husband's words.
one day, she went shopping with her husband and passed a women's clothing store.
because clothes are the most expensive in the new season. Although Sister Zhang tried and liked both of them, she just couldn't handle the price.
after a turn, she still left reluctantly.
but as soon as I walked out of the store, my silent husband suddenly said proudly:
must have been "unwilling" and "not to buy" countless times in the past, so that the other party is as justified as it is today.
at that moment, Sister Zhang had mixed feelings in her heart: "who am I saving money for?"
unexpectedly, the other person said coldly, "I didn't ask you to save it!"
I thought that "sacrificing myself for others" would get each other's emotion and understanding, but it was complacency and sarcasm.
this short story looks a little sad, but it also shows the complexity of human nature, even in intimate relationships.
the more you give in, the more others will advance by an inch; the more you give, the more they will feel justified.
this is naked human nature.
as the saying goes, the thinnest feelings are the coldest, but the hearts of the people.
Love is not only to learn to give, but also to learn to take appropriately.
the feelings in this world are never pure and sincere.Outside, it needs a little bit of wisdom and mental skill.
I've always felt that a good relationship is like dancing. If you take a step back, the other person will go further, come and go, and affection will last forever.
03
Love and hate are casual, the past
in the long years, our lives will meet a lot of people, some fate is deep, some fate is shallow, often can not be forced to come.
however, no matter who we associate with, we should always adhere to one principle:
learn to be vague in small things; stick to the bottom line in general.
the hearts of the people cannot be studied deeply, and the deeper they are, the deeper the disappointment is. If there is nothing wrong with things, then don't worry about it and learn to be vague.
as Huang Lei said:
at the same time, the unshakeable bottom line is, no matter who you get along with, don't overestimate the relationship, let alone simply think that you can change your heart.
A stable and long-term relationship depends on attracting and appreciating each other.
if you can't be kind to yourself, no matter how much you give or sacrifice, you can't get the other person's sincerity. In the end, you are the only one who is disappointed and hurt.
if you find that you have met the wrong person, you might as well let love and hate be casual and let bygones be bygones.
it is normal for people to come and go in spring, summer, autumn and winter.
A long life, may we be tolerant and unindulgent, cherish love but not blindly. Do not overestimate the relationship, do not despise yourself, do not cling to, do not rely on, broad sea and sky, live freely.