Don't put your feet into other people's shoes (incisive)

Old people often say, "Don't put your feet in other people's shoes."

this is true. It is difficult to empathize with different environments, and it is difficult to fully understand different experiences.

as the writer Haruki Murakami said, "not every fish lives in the same sea."

Don't use your own standards and comment on other people's lives in order to live in harmony and live at ease.

01

does not evaluate other people's words and deeds, it is a kind of education

moral Sutra. Chapter 56 says: "those who know do not speak, and those who speak do not know."

A wise man does not judge others, but focuses on himself; a fool looks around and takes pleasure in talking about others.

not judging others easily is not only the realm of doing things, but also the upbringing of people.

there is such a story:

after Su Shi was demoted to Huangzhou, he was depressed and often traveled to the mountains and rivers with his friends in order to relieve his worries.

one day, when they came to a field, they saw the old farmer carrying water from a distant river for irrigation, and there were several wells nearby.

my friend said, "it's stupid. There's a way to save energy, but you don't use it."

Su Shi looked into the distance and did not speak.

at this time, the old farmer came and sat at the edge of the field to have a rest. He said to them, "although I am tired now, if I run out of water from the well, the crops will suffer when the dry season comes."

when they heard this, they admired the old man's foresight. At the same time, their friends were ashamed of their words.

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Bai Yansong said: "everyone is ignorant, but the field of ignorance is different."

heaven and earth are vast and everything is extremely mysterious. What one can see and know is always limited.

if you always define the words and deeds of others from your own point of view, you can only reflect your own shallowness.

A truly wise person who does not judge others, does not talk about words and deeds, and reflects on himself all the time will win the respect of others, and the road of life will be more and more smooth.

02

not blaming others for their mistakes is a pattern

Laozi said: "when Great Way is implemented, it is not to blame others."

people who really have a pattern understand the nature behind things and have an insight into the laws of developments.

therefore, the fault will not be attributed to others, let alone casually blame others.

during the Tang Dynasty, a general, while leading his troops in battle, found that his horse was so easily frightened that he almost fell off several times.

back at the camp, people blamed the groom for dereliction of duty and demanded to kill the groom.

the general meditated for a moment and said to the groom, "I won't pursue you, but why is my horse so easily frightened?"

the groom recalled for a moment and said, "the horse was fed according to the usual feed, but yesterday's drinking water was taken from the local well."

after listening to this, the general ordered someone to fetch water and found that the enemy had poisoned the well.

fortunately, it was found in time that it did not make a big mistake.

right and wrong is only a superficial phenomenon, and being able to see the essence through the phenomenon is the wisdom of a person.

there is a saying in Huai Nan Zi: "it is big enough to accommodate the masses, and virtuous enough to be far away."

the broad-minded always forgive others; the virtuous always take a long-term view.

people with foresight do not need their own knowledge to blame others for their faults. Only in this way can they return to things themselves, thus solving problems and eliminating disasters.

03

non-interference in other people's decisions is a kind of wisdom

Chapter 44 of the moral Sutra says: "contentment is not humiliating, knowledge is not perilous, it can last a long time."

if you know how to be satisfied, you will not be ashamed; until you stop, you can last a long time.

when people get along with others, the most taboo thing is to know the boundaries and use their own experience to interfere with other people's decisions.

in the end, it will only break up in discord and get yourself into trouble.

during the Wei and Jin dynasties, Ji Kang and Shan Tao were both "Seven Sages of Bamboo Forest".

the two people share the same temperament and often recite poems and poems together and talk freely about life.

Ji Kang married Cao Cao's great-granddaughter.

later, when the Sima family was in power, Ji Kang wanted to live in seclusion, and Shan Tao wanted to become an official.

at this time, Shan Tao felt that his friend was very talented and would bury him because he lived in seclusion in the mountains and forests.

therefore, Ji Kang was dissuaded from joining him as an official and recommended him to the emperor.

when Ji Kang learned this, he was so angry that he wrote "A letter of severing diplomatic Relations with Shan Juyuan" and announced that he had severed diplomatic ties with Shantao ever since.

A writer once said, "No matter how familiar your friends are, you can't lose your sense of division. You think you are familiar, but you end up estranged."

between people, the position is different, the choice will be different. The more familiar people are, the more likely they are to forget the limits.

in life, whether close relatives or friends, learn to respect differences, pay attention to what you say, leave room for doing things, and never get along with each other. In this way, the relationship will be comfortable and the relationship can last forever.

▽

A philosopher once said, "not everyone goes to the same place in the journey of life."

I deeply agree that everyone gets different questions in the answer to the question of life.

you don't need to use your own standards to correct other people's answers.

when one is alive, he is not easily judged, casually blamed or unduly interfered with. Finally, from the heart, reflect on yourself, so that you can live a free and comfortable life.

for the rest of our lives, may we put on our own shoes, walk our own way, see the beautiful scenery and experience all kinds of things in the world.