Far-sighted parents are willing to let their children suffer these three kinds of hardships.

there is a popular saying among parents: "No matter how poor you are, you can't educate your poor, and no matter how hard you are, you can't suffer your children."

maybe the living environment is better now, and there are not many opportunities for children to bear hardships.

but those parents who really love their children still know the truth of "thinking deeply about it".

writer Turgenev also said:

A person's suffering is fixed. If he does not bear hardships now, he will work hard in the future.

you always have to go your own way in life. The most difficult thing for parents is not to help their children grow up, but to accompany them to grow up.

every child is the treasure of his parents, but far-sighted parents can always cultivate their children's courage to face the wind and rain alone and the ability to venture out into the world.

for the sake of the child's future, it is the parents' more responsible love to let him go through these three kinds of hardships before he can achieve a better self.

01

different degrees of indulgence must accumulate different degrees of stubbornness; different degrees of exercise must achieve different degrees of results. "

A child's life is a brand new piggy bank, and all his efforts will be packaged and returned to him one day in the future.

having seen such a news, it makes people sigh and shock unceasingly.

there is a child in the countryside who is held in the palm of the hand by his parents as soon as he is born. although the family is not well-off, the parents are afraid that the child will suffer a little.

even if the child walks more, the parents will be distressed, and the living conditions are difficult, so they carry it with a pole.

in their teens, meals are often fed by their parents.

in order to give their children a better life, parents worked hard day and night and successively fell ill and died.

now the boy is 18 years old, but he doesn't even have the most basic ability to take care of himself.

after losing his parents, the young man lived a life without a meal. At first, the neighbor kindly gave him food and meat, but he couldn't cook at all. Finally, he got hungry and picked up food in the dustbin.

such a day, after five years, the 23-year-old boy was hopeless and finally starved himself to death.

it is really "sad for his misfortune and angry at his indifference". The parents are also pitiful and hateful, turning good children into "useless materials".

and what do the real top giants Guo Jingjing and Huo Qigang do?

Guo Jingjing will stall on the side of the road to buy discounted clothes for her children and buy about 100 yuan of shoes.

the couple will also take their children to the countryside during the holidays, cultivate fields and transplant rice seedlings with them, and make their children feel that food is not easy to come by.

Li Bangxian said in the Song Dynasty:

therefore, no matter what the family circumstances are, parents should be willing to let their children suffer.

Let children know that there is a word called "difficulty" in life, which is often inseparable from sweating and injury, so that when they grow up, they will greatly shorten the period of social adaptation and improve their ability to resist frustration.

there are no parents who do not love their children, but instead of over-protection, it is better to let their children learn to give, so that they can know how to cherish and be grateful, and at the same time enjoy the joy of harvest.

02

the bitterness of upbringing

French writer Roman Roland said:

the same is true of children.

it is common for children to be naughty, but have you ever seen a child who has been rewarded for admitting his mistake?

Nanjing Museum of the six dynasties openly sought a small audience.

they want to praise the child's courage and spirit of "correcting as soon as he knows his mistakes" and give him the title of "honorary little librarian".

it turned out that the child had visited the museum when he was organizing a spring outing in the class, when he quietly took away two pebbles used in the exhibition hall.

unexpectedly, a few days later, the child, encouraged and accompanied by his mother, came back with a sincere letter of apology and pebbles to admit his mistake.

A lot of people like their children's behavior, and many people say that this kind of family education is great!

in fact, it is not terrible for children to make mistakes, what is terrible is the attitude of parents.

around us, there are too many doting parents who do not have the heart to punish their children when they make small mistakes. as a result, their children make big mistakes and deviate from the original path of life.

Sukhomlinski once said:

and the process of discipline is not painful.

is like two boulders with completely different fates.

they all had the opportunity to carve into Buddha statues.

but in the process of carving, there is a stone that keeps complaining of pain and doesn't want to carve.

hold on a little longer, and you will achieve something. "

You are sure to find that long sleeves dresses with full length that will be what you need to show your unique style. Immediately after buying, you get a peace of mind.

but the stone gave up.

the other stone is different. in the process of carving, it grits its teeth and insists on patience without saying a word.

finally, a stone became a statue of Buddha worshiped by tens of thousands of people, and a piece was laid on the ground and became rubble for tens of thousands of people to step on.

as the saying goes, "if you eat bitterness, you will be a superior man."

Life is good, naturally there is no need to deliberately create conditions for children to experience the ups and downs of life in all aspects, incisively and vividly.

but children's judgment and self-discipline are not strong. As parents, we need to guide and help children learn to persist and distinguish between right and wrong.

03

Independent suffering

the suffering of independence   03   03

there is a film, which is praised by netizens.As a "rare classic", it is the "Soul Song King" with a score of 8.3 in Douban.

this is a biographical film about the legendary life of Ray Charles, an American jazz and rock character.

Charles was blinded by glaucoma at the age of seven.

there is a heartbreaking scene in the film. Every time I see it, I can't help crying:

Little Charles tripped over his chair and he fell to the ground hard.

it was so dark that little Charles could not see his surroundings.

at this time, the pain in his body became clearer, and in fear, little Charles subconsciously looked for his mother.

he cried and shouted:

wanted to rush to pick up the mother of the child, but suddenly stopped where he was.

she knew that no matter how distressed she was, she had to hold back.

if Charles can't learn to be independent, he will have to suffer more later in life.

so my mother silently shed tears, covered her mouth tightly, and watched Charles cry helplessly on the ground at first, from panic to calm.

watching him wipe away his tears, he began to try to perceive the unknown world with his ears, trying to recall and distinguish the direction of each object.

in the process, Charles was burned when he accidentally reached out to the charcoal, but eventually he was able to catch the cricket in the corner by sound.

when Charles said to his mother, "I hear you, too, you were there", the mother couldn't help it any longer and held her son tightly in her arms.

Yes, there is probably no mother in the world who can be indifferent when her child gets hurt and asks for help.

but all parents have only one way ahead, that is, they should be willing to let their children out of their protective circle and let them feel the pain and bitterness of life.

in this way, they can learn to be independent and grow up, and be on their own in the future.

as the Russian literary critic Billingsky said:

"you can create the best material conditions for your child and build him an airtight 'castle of love' to keep him away from human suffering.

but what happens to him when you're gone? "

it is impossible for a child to grow up smoothly. A child who "does not know the sufferings of the world" cannot easily resolve difficulties and forge ahead with perseverance at once.

We always say that setbacks are the wealth of life, and tribulations are friends of growth.

the willingness to let children endure hardships is the basis for them to have a better life.

it is not difficult to be a parent who protects their children from the wind and rain, but it is very difficult to be a parent who has a knife in their heart to watch their children suffer.

but we must know that only when children are willing to bear hardships can they have the opportunity and ability to touch happiness.

04

there are no shortcuts to growing up.

parents will eventually quit their children's life, and the sweetness they get without suffering will have to be returned one day.

when children are still young, let them experience setbacks and tribulations properly and speed up their understanding and understanding of life. Only in this way can the growth of children be more meaningful.

of course, what is praiseworthy is not the hardship itself, but the growth changes that the hardship brings to the child.

Let children have the ability to overcome difficulties and have a sense of happiness after overcoming difficulties.

Don't be reluctant to let children endure hardships, that's the way they have to go sooner or later.

A child who is "held" will never walk.