Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
Don't punish yourself for other people's mistakes
in life, we always care too much about other people's eyes and opinions.
A remark that hurts you, even if it is not true, may make you feel down.
someone else has done something that hurts you, even if it is deliberately embarrassing, it may make you angry and upset.
there is a saying:
once, the writer Harris and his friend bought a newspaper at the newsstand. The friend politely said "thank you" to the vendor, but the vendor kept a cold face and said nothing.
Harris asked, "this guy has a bad attitude, isn't he?" "he is like this every night," the friend said.
Harry asked again, "then why are you still so kind to him?" The friend replied, "Why should I let him decide my behavior?" .
the stupidest thing a person can do is to take other people's fault and get angry with himself.
maybe we can't decide what other people's attitude towards us is, but we have the right to choose or reject it.
in ancient times, a scholar came to Beijing to take the exam, but he was plotted to fail the exam. at this time, his childhood lover also left him, and the scholar never recovered, depressed every day and lived on wine.
one day, he met an eminent monk and asked for advice on how to extricate himself. The eminent monk did not say much, but just let him follow him for three days. Within three days, the eminent monk only allowed the scholar to drink water and did not allow him to eat. He was allowed to feed horses and cut wood every day, and at night he was allowed to sleep in the stables.
three days later, the scholar broke down and cried and regretted why he had asked for trouble. The eminent monk said, "have you never been like this before, punishing yourself with other people's mistakes and asking for trouble?"
the stupidest behavior of a person is to torture himself with the mistakes of others.
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even if others have done something wrong to you, if you hold on to it, it will bring you trouble and trouble.
painter Chen Danqing once said:
there are too many people and things in this world that make us unhappy.
only when a person puts aside other people's mistakes, can he really free his heart, avoid unnecessary interference from others, and live calmly and freely.
Don't punish others for your own mistakes
there is such a story.
there is a boy who has a bad temper and often loses his temper easily.
his father gave him a bag of nails and told him to hammer a nail into the backyard fence whenever he lost his temper.
on the first day, the boy hammered 37 nails. Slowly, the number of nails decreased every day, and he found it easier to control his temper than to hammer in those nails.
so, one day, the boy will no longer lose his temper because he lost patience.
he told his father about it, and the father said that from now on, whenever he could control his temper, he would pull out a nail.
time went by, and at last the boy told his father that he had finally pulled out all the nails.
the father took his hand to the backyard and said,
"you have done well, my good boy, but look at the holes in those fences, they will never be able to return to the way they used to be.
what you say when you are angry, it leaves a scar like these nails.
if you stab someone with a knife, no matter how many times you say you're sorry, the wound will last forever.
the pain of words is as unbearable as real pain. "
many times, we are used to punishing others with our own mistakes.
in fact, even if you don't mean it, it's hard to minimize the damage afterwards.
We always hate people who lose their temper with us, but before we know it, we become the kind of people we hate most.
maybe everyone has bad moments, some bad moments, and even some sad and sad states.
but no matter how many reasons you have, you can't treat others as a punching bag, because no one has an obligation to accept and tolerate your bad emotions.
Cong Feicong, a psychological counselor, once said:
when you feel very bad, you may not be able to always smile at others, but at least you should learn to deal with and adjust your own emotions.
instead of destroying other people's good mood, not passing bad negative energy to others, nor adding unnecessary psychological burden and pressure to others.
there is no need for people to embarrass each other
writer Hu Shi once said:
in fact, it is not wise enough to embarrass yourself, but to embarrass others alone is a sign of lack of self-cultivation.
once there was a piece of news that a customer ordered takeout, but because of the rainstorm, the road was very slippery, and there were many low-lying roads, so the courier exceeded the scheduled time to deliver the food to the customer's door.
but when the delivery guy keeps apologizing to the customer, the customer not only does not accept it, but also keeps scolding the delivery guy, you are sick.
then the courier explained that it was indeed because of the rain today, the water on the road was too deep, and it took a long time for the road to be closed.
but the client said that the road closure had nothing to do with me, and even threatened that I would not want this meal, and I would give you a bad review.
on hearing this, the delivery boy was immediately worried. He begged the customer not to give a bad comment, and it was not easy for him. If the customer didn't want it, he would lose money.
but the customer has beenPestering, not only let the delivery guy's company call him to apologize, but also poked the delivery guy in the head and pointed at him.
finally, he snatched the cardboard box from the delivery guy's hand and suddenly threw it on the ground. Finally, the delivery guy had to pick up the thrown box and left aggrieved.
in the relationship between people, it is inevitable to encounter some stumbles.
sometimes, we just vent our dissatisfaction to others, thinking that we can punish others wantonly.
in fact, only when you show more compassion and understanding to others can you let go of the grievances and anger that afflict you.
someone once asked Mr. Cai Lan, a famous writer, what is being a human being?
"to be a man is to try not to look at other people's faces, and there is no need to look at others' faces.
there should be mutual respect between people, so I respect them no matter what occupation they are, old or young."
everyone has his own difficulties. Sometimes when we understand others, we are just forgiving ourselves.
there are clouds in Buddhism, and all sentient beings suffer.
in this world, everyone will encounter a lot of unhappy, unhappy, and even not so beautiful people and things.
if others are in a bad mood, say bad things to you and make bad attacks, we don't need to pay attention to them.
if you are in a bad mood, you can't easily lose your temper at others, let alone let others bear your negative energy.
everyone's life is not easy, and they don't have to be aggressive, arrogant, or embarrass each other on trifles that don't matter.
Mr. Mu Xin once said:
May you and I have a good state of mind and state, say good words and do good things, and be kind to both ourselves and others. To fulfill not only yourself but also others.