Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
once saw such a question on Zhihu: what is the experience of having a husband who likes to be reasonable?
here is a man who gave an answer with his own experience:
"it's no good to reason with your wife everywhere, whether you win or lose.
if you win, it is only verbal. Not only will your wife not listen, but she will also feel that you are haggling. If you can't stand it, you will say good-bye;
if you lose, it will be even worse. Not only will he be aggrieved by his wife, and his family status will decline, but there will also be a series of sequelae such as kneeling durian during the day, sleeping on the sofa at night, and the wife's lipstick account is incomplete. "
although it is full of jokes between the lines, it makes sense to think about it carefully.
when two people are together, conflicts will inevitably arise, and the way to resolve the contradictions determines the temperature at which the family will be maintained.
Men value "whether to"
Women care about "love"
when faced with problems, men tend to be more rational and pay more attention to how to solve problems, while women's thinking is more emotional and pays more attention to the attitude of the other party to solve problems.
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Zang Hongfei once told his own experience in "the Theory of Strange works":
once he quarreled with his girlfriend over trifles and finally caught a loophole in his girlfriend's logic.
he was so excited that he immediately began to list one, two, three, hoping to prove in detail that he was right and his girlfriend was wrong.
while he was chattering, his girlfriend suddenly looked up and said:
"Why are you yelling at me?" Why are you yelling at me? "
at this time, it no longer matters why you fight, because your girlfriend's attention has successfully shifted from "you are wrong" to "you yell at me".
contradictions escalate quietly. You see, women have the constitution of kittens, as long as they yell, they think they are not loved.
I have to admit that most of the time, the contradiction between two people stems from their different ways of thinking.
even in the face of people as close as husband and wife, men are often used to doing business and want to give their most rational opinions.
and women sometimes care more about men's attitude towards themselves in the process than the result of dealing with conflicts.
she wants to be the exception that makes men give up 100% rationality, and wants to see that she is different from others in men's minds.
what she wants is not a conclusion that you lose or win, but a constant doting behind what you talk about.
Love is an oath to conquer
Love is that I take the initiative to admit defeat
the story of Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang is still talked about today, so the long-flowing love is inseparable from the wisdom of the two people.
once on a ship, they argued over a French word.
Yang Jiang said that Qian Zhongshu's pronunciation has a local accent, which is not accurate enough. Qian Zhongshu felt very unconvinced and was right to insist on himself.
the two people can't argue all the time, and they say a lot of things that hurt each other in their anger.
later, they asked an English-speaking French lady to judge. As a result, Yang Jiang's pronunciation was correct and Qian Zhongshu was wrong.
on the surface, it seems that Yang Jiang won, but she still feels very unhappy. From then on, he agreed with Qian Zhongshu that he would never argue like this again.
Yang Jiang once asked Qian Zhongshu: "Why do you always give way to me in a fight? sometimes it's not just your fault for me to reflect."
Qian Zhongshu's answer is as follows:
"because you are mine, even if you win the argument, what can you do?" Win the truth, lose the feelings, lose you, I lose the whole life.
in the world of two people, there must always be one making noise, one laughing, one quarreling, and the other coaxing. "
Yes, the truth is all told to outsiders, even if you win the argument with your lover, what can you do?
can not prove that the truth is always in their own hands, nor can they make themselves more dignified and dignified.
win the truth, lose the feelings, the loss outweighs the gain.
the one who takes the initiative to admit defeat is not because he is wrong, but because he loves more.
the one who receives the admission of defeat should also understand that he is willing to bow his head, not really lose.
just because in his mind, the so-called great truth is nothing compared to you.
men with high EQ
never reason with their wives
Zhang Zhilin and Yuan Yongyi are a model couple in the entertainment industry, even though they have been married for more than 20 years. It's still like they're in love.
as we all know, Yuan Yongyi is a famous "bag-buying maniac". When she sees all kinds of new products, she can't help but get one.
even Zhang Zhilin couldn't help complaining about his wife and went into the store and held all his favorite bags in his hand: "if there's anything else, take it out, it's like a robbery."
but in fact, while complaining, he acted very cleanly. He not only indulged his wife in all kinds of shopping, but even wrote the word "buy it" on the cake for his wife.
in an interview, I was asked if my wife already had so many bags and wanted to keep buying, would she reason with her not to buy them?
Zhang Zhilin replied: "No, I don't reason with her, reason with her, I choose her." And women, just spoil them. "
in fact, sometimes women don't have to compete with the so-called "truth". They just want to prove that men think emotionally for her instead of acting like a machine.The device.
once you see the approval and preference of men, the tip of the horn is no longer drilled, and all the moments of right and wrong are no longer important.
and men don't have to be stubbornly divided into high and low, just remember that at this moment, attitude is more important than right or wrong.
because love itself is unreasonable. Spoil her, too.
looking at it from another angle, perhaps a man will find that she is unreasonable like a child only in front of you, and has always been the mature and stable adult in front of others.
but the courage to challenge you depends only on your preference.
"the argument stirs up the marriage, and love is the real couple."
I wish all lovers in the world could be less reasonable where they should talk about love.
that's it, all the way to the end.