Never, explain yourself to others!

I often hear a saying: "explanation is cover-up, cover-up is truth."

in the past, when you said something and did something, you always cared about what other people thought, for fear of misunderstanding, and tried to explain it.

later I realized that some people don't listen to your explanation, and some people don't need your explanation.

I think so.

A person's life is limited, you just take the road under your feet, ignore the gossip, and have a clear conscience.

01

people who understand you, it goes without saying that

Zhihu has a question: "do you want to explain if you have been misunderstood by a friend?"

there is a high praise answer that hit the nail on the head: a true friend can read your meaning without you talking.

along the way of life, there are many people who pass you by and many people who work with you.

however, it is hard to find people who can understand your joys and sorrows and know that you are cold and warm.

during the Spring and Autumn period, Guan Zhong and Bao Shuya hit it off and worshiped each other as bosom friends.

Guan Zhong's family is poor, while Bao Shuya's family is well off. When the two work together to do business, Guan Zhong doesn't pay as much as Bao Shuya, but if the business makes money, Guan Zhong will get more dividends.

Bao Shuya's men were very angry and reprimanded Guan Zhong for being greedy.

but Bao Shuya explained, "how can he be greedy for this money?" His family had a difficult life, and I voluntarily gave it to him. "

Guan Zhong and Bao Shuya led their troops to fight. Guan Zhong only hid at the end and dared not move forward. At a disadvantage, he immediately flinched and fled.

others laughed at him for being afraid of death, but Bao Shuya defended Guan Zhong: "he has an old mother and an only child in his family. He has a mother to take care of, so he is not really afraid of death."

everyone says that Guan Zhong is incompetent, and only Bao Shuya knows that he has not met anyone he appreciates and has not met the right time.

later, on the recommendation of Bao Shuya, Guan Zhong became the prime minister of the State of Qi.

Guan Zhong said with emotion, "the parents who gave birth to me, so did Bao Shuya who knew me!"

it's all self-evident to get along with those who are heart to heart.

there is a good saying: "Life is a lonely journey, but I met you." You are not me, but you are like another me in the world. "

because I know you, I don't have to explain anything or pretend to be myself.

tell him all your grievances and sorrows, and he will listen quietly;

share your joy and happiness with him, and he will sincerely bless you.

in front of such people, no matter what they say or do, they feel at ease and do not feel tired.

come to think of it, the best tacit understanding in the world is to know each other by heart and warm without words.

02

people who don't understand you, why should many people hear such a voice:

"watching you work so hard every day, you don't make much money?"

"No matter how good skin care products are, you are not as beautiful as others. What are you messing with?"

"We've known each other for such a long time, and it's really stingy to worry about such a trifle."

"you're almost 30. If you don't get married, you'll be an old girl!"

in the past, I always wanted to explain, but later I found that no matter how many explanations are powerless in the face of people who don't understand you.

the hardest thing between people is to understand each other.

most of the time, misunderstanding is the norm of life, and understanding is the accident of scarcity.

once, painter Zhang Daqian held an exhibition in England.

the locals don't know much about traditional Chinese painting. In order to show the effect better, he made a peony picture on the spot.

when he finished his pen, he sprayed it evenly on the paper with water in his mouth, so that the peony, which was a little stiff in the painting, became smart.

when everyone saw this, they were amazed and applauded one after another.

but at this moment, someone suddenly said angrily,

"is this also an art of painting?" It turns out that Chinese painters spray their paintings on tea. It's really ridiculous! "

everyone turned to look at Zhang Daqian, but he smiled and said nothing, ignored no explanation, and just cleared the table calmly.

afterwards, someone asked him:

"everyone knows that this is the method of developing ink in Chinese ink painting. You only need a few words to make him speechless. Why don't you explain it?"

Zhang Daqian replied with a smile: "Why should I argue with him? if he is interested, he will understand without explanation; if he is not interested, I do not need to explain. I have lost my dignity by arguing with him."

it suddenly dawned on everyone.

the more mature people are, the less they expect to be understood and recognized by everyone.

most of the time, it's not that you're not good enough, but that you haven't met the right person.

so, don't care too much about what other people think. You will understand what you know, but you won't understand you. No matter how much you explain, it's no use.

then why explain?

Life is tired enough, don't be swayed by unnecessary people and things, waste time and energy.

in many cases, facts speak louder than words, and they are more powerful than words.

Let go of your obsession with the outside world, and slowly you will understand that some words are meaningful only if you leave them to those who understand.

since the three values are different and there is no way to understand each other, it would be better not to explain and refute it, laugh it off, and try to manage our own small life.

03

be yourself and have a clear conscience

like the saying

"if you don't live your life for yourself, who else will live for yourself?"

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Life is your own, it has nothing to do with others, only you are your own protagonist.

if we always pursue the approval of others and care about their comments, we will eventually live in other people's lives.

so, smart people have learned to be themselves without explanation.