The best state of life: half get, half let go

some people say that life is a painting, and every step you take will add to it. The more you have, the more handwriting you will draw.

but if the painting is too full, it will be cumbersome; leave it properly and embellish it a little to highlight the original color of life.

A person's life is not long, and there is a limit to the capacity of life. going through half of one's life, getting it while putting it down is the best state of life.

01

put aside the harsh criticism of others

writer Fitzgerald said in the Great Gatsby:

A person's true maturity is to understand that everyone has his own life, no longer criticizing other people's words and deeds, and no longer demanding other people's thoughts.

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in the TV series Ode to Joy, Quxiao, who never worries about money, finds it difficult to understand Fan Shengmei's face-saving behavior, and often tries his best to express his dissatisfaction with attitude and language.

however, Fan Shengmei, who was born into a patriarchal family and was poor, was even more powerless to face QuXiao's harsh criticism.

in dealing with the world, tolerance is a kind of self-cultivation.

in the face of the same thing, we can have different opinions, but we can't ask others to agree.

after all, there is no standard answer to many things in life.

instead of standing on the moral high ground to criticize others, it is better to be yourself first.

to let go of the blame is to let go of yourself. In this way, happiness will come like a shadow.

02

put down the "prejudice" against yourself

fate

, the most taboo is to have "prejudice" against yourself:

there are things that others can do, but they will worry about the eyes of others;

if they have something, others can say it, but if they say it, they will worry about "the listener's heart".

there are mistakes that others can make, but if they make mistakes, they will indulge in negative thinking and criticize themselves.

this is actually the "focus effect" in psychology:

in fact, alcohol stains accidentally spilled on clothes, accidentally stumbled while walking, or even accidentally said a wrong sentence in public, this does not attract much attention, and even if some people notice it, they tend to turn around and forget.

because in everyone's mind, they pay more attention to themselves than others.

so let go of your prejudice against yourself and don't be too hard on yourself.

you should know that if you are too hard on yourself, you will often fall into negative emotions. If you are timid and submissive, you will not only become more and more inferior, but also let go one opportunity after another.

put aside your "prejudice" against yourself in order to truly appreciate your imperfect self.

03

Let go of unrealistic desires

there is a shepherd who saved the angel who lost his wings.

the angel asked him what he wanted. After thinking for a long time, the shepherd said:

the angel agreed. However, the shepherd who added a hundred sheep became more tired.

so he found an angel and changed the sheep into a big house.

but within a few days, the shepherd found that cleaning the big house was also a laborious task.

the shepherd changed his wish for a horse.

finally, the shepherd withdrew all his wishes and said:

there is nothing in the world.

most of the time, we feel upset, but it is because there are too many unrealistic desires, like ditches that cannot be filled, that make us anxious all the time.

but in fact, a lot of things are not what we really want.

instead of understanding it after it takes effort to get it, it is better to put it down as soon as possible.

as Laozi said:

04

put aside your obsession with the past

Life is a journey, no matter how many regrets there are in the past, you should learn to look forward.

as the story says:

A rickshaw puller pulled a cart of porcelain and walked forward carefully, but he accidentally broke a bowl because of the jolt.

the rickshaw puller glanced at the debris on the ground, calm and did not make any stop, not to mention distressed for a moment.

passers-by saw that the rickshaw driver's attitude was very strange and could not help asking. The coachman replied:

since the past is in the past, don't worry about it any more. If you are obsessed with it, the past will be impassable.

so, every once in a while, try to say goodbye to the past, whether it's happy or sad, properly sealed, and then save time for the future.

after all, being too attached to the past will eventually make the future a "regrettable past".

05

Let go of inappropriate relationships

some people meet too late, some people don't know how to cherish, and some people are disconnected.

A friend or lover, besides liking, really depends on whether it is appropriate or not.

when you feel more painful than happy in a relationship, let it go.

just like Zhang Youyi, who entered an inappropriate marriage relationship in her teens.

when she wanted to exchange her child for Xu Zhimo's admiration, she was finally defeated by Xu Zhimo's cold words:

Zhang Youyi said shakily:

I heard that beating a child would kill people. "

"Train accidents still happen. Have you ever heard of anyone who doesn't take the train because of this?"

Zhang Youyi's heart is cold to the freezing point, and then she recalls her humble and cold treatment in this relationship, so she chooses to let it go, even if she becomes the "first person to divorce."

cut off inappropriate relationships, but Zhang Youyi has made new changes, learning new things, trying things that have not been done before, and going through thousands of sails.At the end of Nirvana, she brushed the dust off her body and shone brightly.

if you become worried about gain or loss, physically and mentally exhausted, or even hideous in a relationship, let it go in time.

rather than staying in an inappropriate relationship, like a trapped animal, choose to let go and give everything to time to love yourself better.

06

Let go of high expectations

the writer Ma de wrote this sentence in "allowing himself to waste his time":

having too high expectations of people will make us invisible, to control each other's words and deeds;

too high expectations of things will make us invisible and ignore the process of things.

however, the reason why the journey of life is beautiful is not because of the bumper harvest at the end, but because every flower and cloud passing by becomes the lucky one at that time and makes people happy.

it is also said in

disqualification: the same is true of expectations.