The greatest upbringing of a person is not politeness, not politeness, but...

Liang Xiaosheng, a famous writer, gave a very reliable explanation of "culture":

and the other side of culture is actually the embodiment of "upbringing".

the greatest achievement in one's life is the ability to achieve the above sentence!

01

when I was walking around Zhihu, I came across a topic comment: is there anything unforgettable to this day?

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A netizen below was impressed by the answer:

he said that at school, the family of four were squeezed into a narrow space of 14.5 square meters, so life was extremely inconvenient. The hardest part is winter, when there is no money to go to the bathhouse and the family cannot afford to take a bath.

so I often endure not taking a bath all winter, and my neck and heel are covered with a layer of dirt for a long time.

in the fourth grade, a new head teacher came to the class and often invited him and another classmate to make briquettes at home. Every time they get dirty after work, the teacher asks them to wash them clean before going home.

at an alumni reunion many years later, the accomplished netizen smiled and shared with you that every time he went to the teacher's house to help when he was a child, he was able to take a bath as fun.

at that time, the teacher's daughter was also present, and after the meeting, she sent him a text message: "do you think you are really asked to help?" Actually, it was my dad who wanted you to take a shower. "

he woke up to the fact that it was the teacher who had been carefully guarding his dignity, and he had no idea for so many years. Zhu Bolu, an ideologist, once said:

the teacher did not go to Shi En openly, but saved his fragile student self-esteem with well-intentioned reasons.

We often say that intelligence is a gift, while kindness is a choice.

Talent is born without too much care, but kindness is different. It is the softest and most powerful emotion in human nature.

if there are angels in the world, it must be everyone's accumulation of a little bit of kindness, and the number of angels will be added to each hand.

after a heavy rain, the car will drive slowly past where there is stagnant water, or let passers-by go first.

although there are many vacant seats in the subway, migrant workers are afraid of soiling their seats. Just sit on their own helmet;

the weather is getting colder and colder, the dessert shop owner sent a cup of hot milk tea to all the takeout staff who came to pick up the order.

kindness, regardless of wealth or poverty, is a kind of instinct of life, perhaps a gentle attitude, caring eyes, perhaps euphemistic words, smiling eyes.

No matter what form it appears, there is more than one warm heart.

whenever you live, remember to keep a basic goodwill for yourself.

Don't be afraid that your kindness will be in vain. A person who is gentle to the world will eventually be treated gently by the world.

02

self-cultivation

the appearance of a person, one looks at the body and the other at the soul.

Beauty and ugliness of facial features can be beautified, but the appearance of the heart needs moral self-control.

writer Liang Xiaosheng told a story that happened to me:

when I was traveling to Rome, I found two streets specializing in antiques.

after one went in, I buried my head at the small sculptures and cultural relics, and then asked an old man about the price.

asked a few things, but the old man said he wouldn't sell them.

I wonder: "Why not sell it?"

he told the truth: "this is my shop. You come in without saying hello to me." Just watch it there and ask me if I want to sell it, but I won't sell it. "

A sentence from the old man woke me up in an instant.

in fact, it is not only the storyteller, but also the storyteller. The level of a person's self-cultivation, regardless of whether he is gorgeously dressed or shabby, noble or humble, the important thing is whether he knows how to respect others.

there are some prominent but unlikable people in life, while some people are very comfortable with each other although they are simple and simple.

they tend to be gentle, do things properly, behave politely, and give others the least respect.

when Liu Shishi was on a plane, after the plane landed, the stewardess went to tidy up and found that the quilt on Liu Shishi's seat was neatly folded.

she was electrocuted at once:

sometimes even the smallest details can make a person more attractive.

people in the world are not afraid of material poverty, but most of all are afraid of spiritual poverty.

people who are really cultured never think that they are high above and put their sense of superiority on their faces and lips.

because the poor and the rich are not as good as upbringing.

03

self-consciousness without reminding

once read such a story in a book:

on weekends, my nephew went fishing for fish and shrimp in Sydney with Australian-born Chinese.

every time you cast a net, there is always a harvest, but every time the net is pulled up, the Chinese always pick and throw most of the shrimp and crabs back into the sea.

the nephew was puzzled: "it's not easy to hit, why throw it back?"

the Chinese replied calmly, "every citizen who goes out to sea to catch fish and shrimp knows that only fish and shrimp that meet the size prescribed by the state can be caught."

my nephew said, "this is far away on the high seas. No one cares about you."

the Chinese smiled faintly: "not everything needs to be reminded and urged!"

indeed, self-consciousness does not need to be reminded. It is a code of conduct that you will abide by at all times. Educated people, wait for the bus to wait in line, eat know not to waste, othersInput password will take the initiative to avoid, their own disaster can be borne as much as possible.

only by comparing one's heart to heart and putting oneself in one's shoes can one always pay attention to his words and deeds.

the ancients said: "Gentlemen fear the destiny of heaven, fear adults, fear the words of saints." The villain is not afraid because he does not know his destiny. "

being born in the world, there are all kinds of rules, some written rules and some conventions.

people who are not in awe, there is no bottom line in doing things, there is no stop in words and deeds, and they seem to be unrestrained, but they will give people a bad impression of domineering.

those who are in awe stop doing something. Know what to do and what not to do, so you can go far and walk steadily.

04

Freedom based on constraints

Hungarian poet Petofi once said:

since ancient times, everyone has been striving for freedom, but is freedom to follow the heart at will and without principle?

this is not true.

anyone who likes to fly kites knows this principle:

because of the help of wind and the traction of lines, kites can take off and sway in the air.

once there is no bondage of the line, it not only cannot float in the air, but also falls to the ground.

by the same token, people cannot live in this world without freedom, but they cannot live without restrictions.

the self on the premise of constraint is freedom, and freedom without constraint is called indulgence.

Xu Heng, an outstanding thinker in ancient times, on an escape with others, found a big pear tree nearby, which was full of sweet fruit.

because of the long journey and the hot weather, everyone asked me to climb the tree to pick pears, but Heng was the only one who sat upright under the tree.

someone asked him, "Why don't you pick a pear to quench your thirst?"

Xu Heng replied, "if it's not your own pear, how can you pick it randomly!"

the person who asked the question could not help laughing, "now that the situation is in turmoil and everyone is fleeing, the owner of this pear tree is no longer here. Why do you mind?"

Xu Heng said, "if the pear tree has lost its master, is there no master in my heart?" So there was no pear picking.

it is true that people must first be in charge of their own heart and brain before they can speak of dignity.

it's everyone's freedom to speak loudly, speak loudly, and eat at will, but once your freedom interferes with other people's lives, it's out of line.

imagine that if freedom is to take away what you like directly, those who don't like it will scold at first, and you can do whatever you want, won't the world be out of order?

so there is no absolute freedom, only freedom based on constraints.

05

writer Di'an once said:

people with truly educated qualities have peace of mind, true feelings, and understand that the world is their own and that of others.