The highest level of self-cultivation is pleasing to everyone.

in real life, there is a kind of people who don't like anyone and want to tell them what to do.

what's the result?

make others uncomfortable and make yourself angry.

the fact that you don't like others is that you don't have enough practice.

01

the world you see is the refraction of the heart

Wang Yangming says that there is nothing outside the mind, and everything is the projection of the human heart.

for example, wherever a good person can see, it is good; for a wicked person, the world is desolate and bleak.

there is such a story that fully illustrates this.

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one day, Su Dongpo and the monk Foyin were meditating in the forest.

the day moves and the moon moves, and the bamboo shadow shakes.

when there was silence, Foyin suddenly opened his mouth and said to Su Dongpo:

Su Dongpo was overjoyed and thought of teasing him again.

then he looked at the reflection of the Buddha's seal and said:

"the upper person sits like a pile of cow dung."

Buddha Yin said nothing but smiled.

after Su Dongpo went back, he was secretly proud that he had finally let the monk Foyin suffer a boring loss.

but by contrast, who lost?

if you have a Buddha in your heart, everyone looks like a Buddha.

is it a sign that people who belittle others and only see the bad side of things are not strong enough?

Modern psychological research shows that we dislike people who have similar shortcomings.

that is to say, if a person sees his own shortcomings in the outside world, he will be more angry and repulsive.

so, you will find that people who always say that others are stupid are actually not confident in their intelligence.

those who always say that others are "material" may be the real money worshippers themselves.

and this just exposes his heart.

02

mature people respect differences

the famous philosopher Russell said:

the more mature and rational people are, the more they can see the multifaceted nature of all things in the world. the more you can tolerate and respect the differences of others.

as the saying goes, "gentlemen are harmonious but different". There is no need to be consistent on specific issues, but it does not prevent them from appreciating each other.

both of the two famous figures of the Northern Song Dynasty had this mind.

Sima Guang, a conservative.

Wang Anshi is a reformist.

the two are political enemies, and each thinks the other's claims are ridiculous.

when Sima Guang was down and out, the emperor asked Wang Anshi to evaluate Sima Guang. Wang Anshi spoke highly of his character, ability, and learning, so Sima Guang was able to leave safely.

later, when Wang Anshi was impeached, the emperor asked Sima Guang for advice. he said earnestly:

posterity praised their relationship as a "gentleman's struggle".

people who have a dispute of interest can do so, not to mention that most of the people who don't like it in life are insignificant people.

there are all kinds of things in the world, and everyone is born different. Using your own standards to find other people's answers is always the end of zero.

High-level people all know how to respect other people's differences and stay out of other people's lives.

as the writer Yishu said:

nothing is more taboo than being self-righteous, using your own ruler to measure other people's lives, and weighing other people's lives on your own scales.

03

the highest self-cultivation is that everything is pleasing to the eye

the gentleman is harmonious but different, and because he agrees with his character, the difference is to stick to his own opinions.

I respect your personality, but I may not agree with you; my opposition to your ideas does not mean denying all of you.

this is the principle of being a gentleman.

everyone is different in life.

understanding others is a kind of self-cultivation, and respecting differences is a kind of realm.

A truly mature person will not pay attention to what others say or do wrong, let alone stain his own mind because of other people's mistakes.

people who are really mature are full of good things such as kindness, leniency and benevolence in their hearts, and all they see in their eyes are good things, and there is no more annoying right and wrong.

Zuo Zongtang, a famous minister of the late Qing Dynasty, once wrote a poem in Meiyuan, Wuxi, Jiangsu Province:

make a wish, tie the knot, enjoy happiness and happiness;

choose a high place, find a flat place to live, and walk to a wide place.

as the poem says: people should be far-sighted, steady and low-key, and leave room for tolerance.

when you have a long-term vision, your heart will be broad, you will see more scenery, and your state of mind will be much more peaceful towards all things.

those who accomplish great things in life must have the capacity to do things and the will to tolerate others.

people who really have high EQ tend to like everything.