Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
the Book of Rites says: "words must consider where they end, and deeds must be what they are comfortable with, then the people are careful in their words and careful in their deeds."
the main idea is: think twice and consider the consequences and disadvantages before speaking. In this way, people will be careful in what they say and what they do.
it is true that words are like spilled water and broken mirrors, which cannot be recovered or reunited, so we should think twice and be cautious in words and deeds is the best policy.
words are often the source of misunderstandings
Confucius said: "words are unwritten, deeds are not far away."
unembellished language cannot convey very far.
as a tool for us to express our thoughts, lips and tongues are one of the bridges between the brain and the outside world. The importance of the explained content is self-evident.
sometimes, maybe our intentions may be good, but because of the ambiguity and inmeaning of the expression, it gives the opportunity for misunderstanding.
there is such an interesting story in history:
it is rumored that after Zhu Yuanzhang became emperor, two of his companions came to Beijing to meet saints when they were young.
when the first cattle herding companion entered the hall, he gave a big gift and shouted long live, telling interesting stories about his childhood with the emperor: "long live my lord. In that year, my minister swept the capital of Luzhou and broke the city of Canzhou." Marshal is on the run, take General Dou, Red Boy is a soldier, thanks to General Tsai. "
after hearing the great joy, Zhu Yuanzhang immediately rewarded his merit.
the second one hurried to ask for a reward, but when he saw the emperor, he had no rules and told him what to do on the golden palace:
"long live, do you remember?" We used to play in the Reed marshes and grab the beans on the ground to eat, but you were stuck in the throat by the red grass root. It was my idea to let you swallow a handful of green vegetables and bring the red grass root into your stomach. "
as soon as the emperor heard Longyan's anger, he beheaded him around.
A tiny loophole and flaw in words can distort and reshape the sentence, not to mention the words blurted out without thinking like the second one, which will eventually lead to murder.
talking is like carving unpolished unpolished jade.
before speaking, we must pay attention to observation and make our own judgment on this basis. So that the words of export can achieve their own goals, so that they can live up to these words and not lead to disaster.
it can avoid a lot of contradictions
Emperor Liang Yuan Zeng said, "words and deeds lie in beauty, not in many."
the self-cultivation of one's words and behavior does not lie in constantly expressing one's own views while ignoring the feelings of others. Because the original intention of communication is to proceed from oneself and settle in the resonance of others. On the other hand, it is a sign of self-righteousness that the speech of preaching can not be shut off.
accustomed to proceeding from one's own standpoint and obeying one's own thoughts by exploiting the will of others, then contradictions arise.
as the saying goes, if "I don't want you to feel, I want to feel" is the standard, it will only build a high wall between the speaker and the listener.
Xunzi says: "speaking kindly to others is warmer than cloth; hurting people with words is deeper than spear."
Communication between people is like two hedgehogs huddling together to keep warm, taking an appropriate social distance to ensure effective communication without being stabbed by words.
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this sense of proportion should be maintained at all times in communication with colleagues, classmates, friends, or family, because words are warm, and once you let your blurted words get out of rein, if you don't know what to do, it's likely to hurt other people's hearts.
the beauty of the art of speaking lies in the difference between speaking and not speaking.
there is an old saying that the mouth can spit roses as well as thistles.
whether the listener receives a bouquet of roses or stinging thistles depends on how we express them.
I remember writer Jia Pingwa told such a story:
he has an old friend who has a poor tongue and speaks very slowly. Once I met a man who asked for directions on the way. Unfortunately, this man also stuttered. His friend looked at him without saying a word and did not answer.
Jia Pingwa was puzzled. Later, when he asked his old friend why he didn't speak and give directions, the friend replied, "he stutters, too. If I answer, maybe he'll think I'm deliberately imitating and teasing him again."
you can see the way of life, and the beauty lies in the difference between saying it and not saying it.
when to say, when not to say, to say more, to say less, and to say anything, we should carefully grasp the degree in this.
such as instructing others to say things appropriately, don't say things you don't understand, don't easily say things you can't do, be honest about what you can't do, don't say things that hurt others, briefly talk about things in the past, and talk about things that haven't happened.
on second thought, the tone is euphemistic, you know how to speak at the right time, take into account all three, carry a ruler on your mouth and think before you slip out of your mouth, so that the road under your feet can be broad and smooth.
in order to achieve the harmony of individuals and reconciliation with each other, good karma will follow.
when speaking, the tone slows down, the voice drops, and the words are sincere. Will good luck be far away?