The most comfortable relationship will always be these four words.

I have read such a passage in WeChat moments:

I like this kind of friend very much. If I have anything to do, I will contact him and disappear from the world.

each is busy and cares about each other. This relationship does not need to be maintained, but it is very strong.

the most comfortable relationship between adults: intimate but unflattering, natural but not deliberate.

do not admire the name, do not leave at will, get along with each other is not tired, feel free to follow the heart.

01

there is no need to please, not tired to get along

Yi Shu once said: "Life is only a few decades, the most important thing is to satisfy yourself, not to please others."

the protagonist Oshima, a 28-year-old girl in the Japanese TV series "calm Leisure", is also a typical "flattering personality".

at work, it was obviously her colleague's fault, but she took the initiative to take the blame. Her colleague said hypocritically, "if I admit it, it will only make the leader more angry and the atmosphere worse."

everyone took a beautiful picture of dinner among her colleagues, but she was squinted. When her colleague asked her if she could post on moments, she pretended to be happy and said, "Yes."

emotionally, I am equally careful with my boyfriend. Obviously it is naturally curly, but because my boyfriend likes to be "black and straight", he gets up an hour earlier every morning and straightens his hair one by one.

A big island with an easygoing personality and harmonious interpersonal relationships, in fact, has been sacrificing its own feelings to please others.

one day, she accidentally saw a chat group set up by her colleagues saying:

Oshima, I really don't get along with her. Just flatter her and she will do everything for you, just like our dedicated outsourcing workers. I am determined not to be a person like Oshima.

I also overheard my boyfriend's complaint:

I am with her, but it is just harmonious in that respect. That guy has to grow all the vegetables he has eaten, and his cooking is very shabby. I have to unplug all the plugs every time I go out. I simply physiologically resist that kind of stingy woman.

at that moment, Oshima tried to create a harmonious and beautiful relationship, all collapsed, and she was so stimulated that she suddenly fainted.

the saddest thing is that she woke up to find that her boyfriend who thought she was in love and her colleagues who thought they were close had not come to see her.

you see, in fact, of all the relationships in the world, whether it's friendship, love, or kinship.

if one party has been courting the other and paying too much, the emotional balance must be out of balance.

in the end, what the pleasers get is not gratitude, but endless demands and complaints, and their own worse and worse life.

interpersonal relationships are like mathematical formulas.

at two o'clock, both sides are comfortable, and both sides have something to gain.

at two o'clock, it is bound to sacrifice one's happiness, and naturally it will not last long.

there is a saying on the Internet:

on the way of life, the person who can really get along with you for a long time will always appreciate your free and independent appearance, not your pretending to be humble and flattering.

A relationship that requires effort to maintain is wrong.

02

there is no need to deliberately get along with each other

in the entertainment circle, the friendship between he Li and Huang Lei has always been talked about.

from youth to middle age, the two have known each other for 20 years and had more than 1000 meals.

but even in such a strong relationship, they sometimes quarrel.

in the program "the Life of yearning", he and Huang Lei are discussing how to build a vegetable greenhouse.

the two men had their own opinions and quarreled, and the atmosphere at the scene became more and more tense, and the people present dared not interrupt.

but one second they were quarrelling, and the next they made up, laughing and drinking tea together.

because I am too familiar with each other and trust this relationship too much, I dare to say anything and will not be deliberately squeamish.

once, Huang Lei broke his leg. He Jie went to see him.

Huang Lei was busy with one foot in the kitchen and insisted on cooking for him. As soon as he entered the room, he muttered:

"Why is the meal not ready yet? I'm hungry!"

even teacher Huang's mother joked around: "what a bad friend you have made!"

this is a true friend, you can have no scruples in front of him, no need to be deliberate, just be comfortable.

think of the good friends who have known each other for more than 20 years, and it's the same with them.

occasionally I am in a bad mood in the middle of the night. I make a phone call for comfort, so I don't have to worry about disturbing her at all.

she also often comes to my house to fetch dinner without saying a word, and opens my refrigerator to find a coke to drink.

I can be out of touch for a long time, but I am still very familiar with each other and talk about what I have experienced over and over again.

you can say anything, or you can say nothing, and it won't be awkward to be quiet in the same space.

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A good relationship must be informal and do not treat each other as an outsider.

A good relationship must not be deliberate and let nature take its course.

because they have such a tacit understanding that they know each other like bosom friends, knowing each other's thoughts with a look and a gesture.

because I am too familiar with each other, I get along with each other as well as sense of security, who is confident that the other person will not leave.

03

A comfortable relationship lasts the longest

there is a saying: "Love at first sight is better than never."

it must be a comfortable relationship to really maintain a long-term relationship.

Grandma once told me the story of a blind date with my grandfather.

meet you for the first time, Grandma justWhen he came back from the field, he rolled up his trousers and went on a blind date in a hurry.

the thin, white grandfather looked at the tough woman in front of him, but he thought it was very funny.

after I met my grandfather, every time I met him on the road, my grandmother would impolitely ask him to help me carry a bundle of grass and bring a bottle of water.

as soon as they came and left, the two had an emotional connection and formed a family.

even if later, the two have quarrels and frictions, but never overnight, and soon one side will take the initiative to reconcile;

even if there are occasional separation and difficulties, they still support each other and leave a place for each other in their hearts.

recalling the days when we met, Grandma always said, "I've met so many people. I'm the most comfortable with your grandfather. I don't have to hide my shortcomings and ugliness. It's not awkward at all."

the feelings of the older generation are always so simple and real, but they inspire us endlessly.

any relationship that makes you uncomfortable will not last long.

for the rest of your life, be sure to find a relationship that makes you comfortable.

in this relationship, we don't have to have a lot of common interests, nor do we need to be together all the time.

but you don't have to worry all the time that the relationship will break down and you don't have to do anything when you don't want to do something.

when you send him a message, you don't have to care whether he will reply in a second or not, because you know that if he sees it, he will definitely reply to you.

you don't have to post on moments often to show whether your relationship is deep or not, because you know that he stands behind you when you need it.

can help each other in ordinary days and stay warm in cold years.

Let nature take its course, comfortable and happy, for a long time.