The most failed family education: a grumpy mother, a leisurely father, raising a child with many problems

A few days ago, my daughter and her husband quarreled on Mother's Day.

because my daughter sends me gifts, greeting cards, handmade baskets and bouquets every holiday.

take great pains to make and write messages very attentively.

my husband didn't prepare any gifts.

his daughter quarreled with him: "if you don't give a gift to your mother, I don't like you."

my husband said brazenly, "even if you don't like Dad, Dad likes you."

the daughter hummed and said, "if you don't give your mother a Mother's Day, I won't give you Father's Day."

my husband smiled and said, "even if you don't give Dad Father's Day, Dad will still give you International Children's Day."

when the daughter couldn't say more, she cried:

my husband was unable to laugh or cry:

my daughter no longer wanted to communicate patiently with him, but only cried and asked him to send gifts.

when I witnessed this quarrel, I was both moved and guilty.

moved by my daughter's maintenance of me, it is worth the hard work to have such a warm-hearted "little cotton-padded jacket".

feel guilty about the sentence "I'm not happy if my mother is not happy".

most of the time, my emotions do affect whether my daughter is happy or not.

when I am energetic and happy, I can put up with my daughter even if she is a little naughty.

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when I am tired, anxious and upset, my daughter is a little disobedient, and I get angry easily.

but every time I get angry, I regret it and blame myself for losing control of my emotions.

my husband sometimes blames me.

I get angry when I hear this:

01

behind every grumpy mother

there is a leisurely father

I have heard the saying that

if a man is a gentleman, the woman next to him will become a lady.

if the man is a scoundrel, the woman next to him will become a shrew.

my husband is also a gentleman: laundry and cooking ladies first, tutoring ladies first, taking the children out to play, ladies first. He is only very active when playing with his cell phone.

when the child makes trouble, he will come and blame me for the first time:

he is happily browsing Douyin in the living room, my daughter is absent-mindedly doing her homework at the small desk, and only I am anxious to help with my homework.

the 2020 Public Mental Health Insight report shows that

mothers' negative emotions mainly come from "feeling unhappy because of the behavior of their family or spouse", which is as high as 75.73%.

behind every grumpy mother, there is a father who has nothing to do.

as Professor Chu Yin said:

"you have a good temper before marriage. How can a bird be like a tigress after marriage?" As a matter of fact, when a woman becomes a tigress, it is really forced by men, grinded by children, and urged by the family. This is how the tigers become. "

when I think of Xiao Shedi, which just ended, everyone scolded Jiang Xin for not being a "chicken baby" and pushing her children too hard, but few people noticed her husband, who loved playing games.

while his son was doing his homework, he played games, which made it impossible for the children to study quietly.

Jiang Xin is so busy with his children's studies that instead of helping him, he sits at the game table and urges "wife, cook quickly!" I'm hungry.

my wife goes to work every day, does housework, sends her children to tutoring classes, and sometimes she is busy with the affairs of the elderly, busy, anxious and sad all day long.

instead of sharing the slightest worry for his wife, he made all kinds of troubles:

complaining that his wife pushed the children too hard, complaining that his wife did not remarry, and that his wife ignored him.

I really want to rush into the screen and ask him:

when your wife is busy and your children are about to go crazy, have you done anything for them?

before marriage, it was agreed to protect the whole family from wind and rain. It was only after being a mother that I knew that all the wind and rain was caused by the inaction of my husband.

Li Meijin said:

as long as the husband can share a little family responsibility, the wife who has something to rely on will not pass on her burden to the children.

A leisurely father can't get the whole family in time.

in exchange for a complaining wife and a troubled child.

02

first a good father

then a good mother

Hong Lan, PhD in psychology in Taiwan, says:

"Mother is the soul of a family, mother is anxious, the whole family is anxious; mother is happy, the whole family is happy."

A mother who is cheerful and stable is certainly the greatest blessing for the whole family.

however, the happiness of the mother depends on the love of the father.

this is the case with he Zhengying, a junior high school student in Juvenile Shuo.

her mother is quiet, gentle, not impatient, without the tiredness and grumbling of a middle-aged woman, and even the host praises her for being gentle.

this is because he Zhengying's father is a very romantic person. Every time he comes back from a business trip, he brings his wife a lot of small gifts.

on their wedding anniversary, my father deliberately created romance. Roses were spread from the door of the community to every corner of the house, and the atmosphere was enough and affectionately said to his wife:

more importantly, he will also accompany his mother to do housework and educate his children.

on the one hand, the daughter feels that her parents are too sweet, on the other hand, she feels that her father has not done enough. She should clean the rose petals at the scene after the romance, and usually do more for her mother. Let her experience sleeping until she wakes up naturally and has time to go shopping or do cosmetology.

after the father heard his daughter's request,Immediately make a promise:

"Dad promises to help your mother share more in the future."

behind every gentle mother, there is a father who can make her happy.

the best thing is that when he Zhengying's mother heard the conversation between father and daughter, on the one hand, she praised her daughter for being sensible and her little cotton-padded jacket, and on the other hand, she spoke for her father, saying that he had paid a lot silently where her daughter could not see it.

after boasting her child and giving face to her husband, the mother took the opportunity to educate her daughter:

her daughter readily agreed.

British psychologist Winnickett said:

A good family relationship is also a "closed loop", that is,

Dad loves Mom. "Mom is happy." mothers respect their children and teach their children to love their father.

mothers who have been supported by their father will have more positive energy to give back to their families.

A good father comes before a good mother.