Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
an old saying goes:
A family is a school.
however, not every family has a good atmosphere for growing up, and not every parent knows how to educate their children.
there are too many parents who love their children by instinct.
they regard their children as the apple of their eyes, holding them in their hands for fear of falling, and holding them in their mouths for fear of melting.
can't wait to put all the best in front of the children, and would rather endure hardships than let the children suffer.
Family education needs sugar, salt and calcium.
too much sugar may become "arsenic", and too much love may become "hurt".
the "ten knives" of family education are deadly, so parents must stay away!
the first knife:
doting on children
parents who dote on their children actually raise a useless "giant baby" in the name of love.
when parents give their children special treatment and are easily satisfied, their children will become selfish and do not know how to cherish them;
parents will always pay attention to their children and do everything, and their children will stretch out their clothes and open their mouths.
parents make a fuss about their children for fear of distress, and their children will become self-willed and lack of self-control.
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Love has a limit, and once it is exceeded, it deprives the child of the opportunity to grow up healthily.
parents' love must be based on making their children adapt to society.
teach him rules, cultivate quality, exercise ability, is the real good love for children.
children have long been tired of telling thousands of things, and children have long been tired of listening to repeated nagging.
every time he is nagged and lectured, the child will feel that his parents love not him, but his behavior and achievements.
as a parent, how to do is far better than how to say.
if you want to cultivate better and sound new children, you must first learn to be better new parents.
parents are the best role models for their children, and teaching by words and deeds is the best education.
parents' words and deeds are silent teachers, conscious or unconscious role models, strongly playing an imperceptible role.
the third knife:
strict parents, who damage their children's personality
, always find fault with their children and ask their children to do their best in everything.
when they see that their children have done something wrong, they yell and yell at them;
when they find that their children have failed in the exam, they make a mockery of their children.
parents are too strict, which will make their children fear difficulties, lack of self-confidence, and even "shrink" their brains.
A study published in the United States in 2019 shows that strict education by parents may lead to changes in children's brain function.
"some children are often severely educated between the ages of 2 and 9, and the difference in their brains is related to repeated severe education in childhood."
parents' love for their children is not determined by how much the child meets the requirements.
the most important task of family education should be to build the Great Wall of a child's personality, as well as a healthy heart and brain.
the fourth knife:
blow, make children lose self-confidence
there is a strange phenomenon in life:
when praising other people's children, parents can come as soon as possible, but when they go to their own children, parents always get used to hitting.
but an immature child will only feel that this blow is negative, disgusted, and unloved.
Children who have been hit for a long time are quietly losing their self-confidence and sense of self-worth.
No child is willing to admit that he is worse than others. Parents' affirmation and encouragement are what their children need most.
what parents have to do is to dig for the treasure of their children, not to break the shining side of their children.
the fifth knife:
laissez-faire, make the child misbehave
in the process of education, do not expect the child to be self-conscious.
Children are lazy. If parents don't care at all, they will allow their children to be lazy all their lives.
the gap between self-disciplined and undisciplined children has been widened ten years later.
some parents think that learning is their child's business and growing up is their child's business. All they have to do is to earn more money to give him a good life.
but Dong Qing said:
"the money you have earned all your life may not be worth a year when your child lost the family."
the real waiting for flowers to bloom is not completely laissez-faire to the children.
parents should keep hope in mentality, be rational in education, and keep pace with their children all the time.
the sixth knife:
high expectations, make children anxious
educate "inside roll", desperately "chicken baby", parents' expectations of their children are getting higher and higher.
some parents want their children to be admitted to "985" and "211" because they have never been to college;
some parents want their children to get ahead because they are unpromising.
parents' high expectations are stress in nature, which has already bent the back of their children.
Mr. Cai Yuanpei said in his book the cultivation of the Chinese people:
as a parent, one should not tilt his anxiety to the child, but to shield the child from the anxiety of the outside world.
to be a good guardian of children, it takes more wisdom to receive and release in education than to control and interfere.
the seventh knife:
rich nourishment, so that children can not bear hardships
rich upbringing, in fact, is the biggest scam encountered by ordinary families.
give children good living conditions, but not good moral character, good values and good habits.