The wise do not fight, the benevolent do not blame, and the good do not judge.

Franklin said, the heart of a fool is in his mouth; the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.

A person's life is, in fact, a process of repairing the mouth and mind.

shallow people always think that words are better than others, mean and tricky;

mature people understand that silence is wisdom, and silence has its own power.

01

A wise man does not dispute

writer Li Shanglong once told such a story.

once, he had to fly out of town, and his flight was cancelled because of the weather.

with the booing crowd, Li Shanglong argued with the airport staff, and the scene was once thrown into chaos.

at this time, the friend next to him said, "will the problem be solved if the argument goes on like this?"

Li Shanglong suddenly realized that he immediately turned and rushed out and rescheduled the nearest flight.

when they were ready to board the plane, the people in the war of words began to flock to the change office, but unfortunately, there were no tickets left for that day.

Carnegie once said:

things that don't have results will only ask for trouble if they argue blindly; people who don't matter will always argue and consume themselves.

wasted time should be given to important things; rare good moods should be left to worthy people.

when Zeng Guofan was at school, a classmate always came to "find fault".

seeing his desk by the window, the classmate said, "the light is blocked by you. How can we read?"

Zeng Guofan did not argue either, but silently moved the tables and chairs to the corner. Late at night, Zeng Guofan was still studying hard.

the classmate put forward another suggestion: "if we are not allowed to rest so late, how can we have class tomorrow?"

after hearing this, Zeng Guofan only recited it in his heart.

soon after, Zeng Guofan won the juggernaut, and the man said, "if you took away my good fengshui, you didn't touch my light when you raised a person in the exam."

many students feel aggrieved for Zeng Guofan, but Zeng Guofan doesn't care about it.

Yes, I often compete with others, but who talks with fools about their short points?

there are priorities and cognitive scores of three, six or nine.

on trivial matters, fighting over trifles will only pull down the pattern; with people at different levels, it will only be a waste of breath to win or lose.

A smile is far more posturing than a war of words; peace of mind is far more attractive than tit-for-tat.

if you want to become a big tree, do not contend with the grass; the general has a sword and does not cut the flies.

02

the benevolent man is not responsible.

I believe that in your life, you must have heard such words:

the child stumbles, and the husband complains to his wife, "what use are you if you can't even look at a child?"

the students kept teaching again and again, and the teacher broke down. "how can you be so stupid? you can't even solve such a simple question!"

when there are mistakes in work, the boss indiscriminately says, "if you can do it, get out if you can't do it!"

every accusation is a steel knife. The speaker is light, but the listener is heartbroken.

over time, quarrelling, each other's feelings fade; scolding, their own reputation will fall.

Laozi once said, "when Great Way is implemented, people are not to blame."

truly smart people know that they should first find the reasons for everything from themselves, rather than blaming others, always blaming others and causing troubles around them.

I have seen such a short story.

A pessimistic young man came to a temple, hoping to get guidance from the abbot.

the young man asked, "Master, in the world, the relationship between people is too complicated, either intriguing or hypocritical. It's really boring." What should I do? "

the abbot was silent. At this time, birds were singing in the tree, and sporadic bird droppings fell just on his shoulder.

Attract your audience when in tight homecoming dresses by showing confidence, femininity and elegance. There is no better place to buy the perfect dress from than Adoringdress.com.

the young man was so angry that he pointed to the bird in the tree and shouted, "Damn bird, don't you have eyes?"

the abbot smiled and said, "Giver, the answer you want is in your hands."

the young man looked at his hand. It turned out that while pointing at others, there were three fingers pointing at him.

the abbot said, "trees are the place where birds live. There is nothing wrong with birds, but we are to blame for standing in the wrong place." Always look for reasons from yourself, and your problem will naturally be solved. "

there is a saying that it is easy for people's eyes to see other people's mistakes, but it is difficult to see the back of their own head.

in fact, when we criticize others, we should ask ourselves:

is it true that we are not responsible for other people's mistakes? Can you guarantee that you will not commit other people's mistakes?

complaining about heaven and earth will only expose your incompetence; all kinds of censure will only cheapen your responsibilities.

Zengguang Xianwen says: blame yourself with the heart of blaming others, and forgive others with the heart of forgiving yourself.

the greatest maturity of adults is to understand that rather than criticize others, it is better to warn yourself.

03

A good person does not comment

in the Great Gatsby,

once read a message in a comment area of a big V, saying that he was almost vomited by cheap perfume in the elevator today, and that a bottle of big-name perfume was not expensive. Ask the blogger what do you think of this "poor and fastidious" behavior.

the blogger replied:

when you are alive, just emit your own light, do not blow out other people's lights; just keep your own joy, there is no need to disturb the happiness of others.

not to label people at will, not to wear tinted glasses to look at people, not to evaluate, is to restrain self-cultivation, but also to take into account the kindness of others.

as the old saying goes, "I don't know the whole picture, so I won't evaluate it."

in fact, most of the time, even if we do know the truth, there is no need to talk about it.

I have seen a true story.

an old lady came to the agency for appraisal with a big-name bag.

the shopkeeper asked slightly seriously, "Auntie, do your family know if you buy this bag?"

Auntie replied, "Yes, this is from daughter-in-law."

the shopkeeper breathed a sigh of relief and responded with a smile: "Oh, this bag is of good quality, and you can continue to memorize it."

Auntie Zhang was in a hurry. "but Sister Zhang in our neighborhood said, there's something wrong with this bag, and I don't know what the problem is!"

the shopkeeper waved: "then she must have read it wrong. This bag is fine. I won't charge you any appraisal fee. Go back."

from the beginning to the end, the shop owner did not expose the truth of the fake bag like the eldest sister Zhang, let alone criticize daughter-in-law 's behavior in a gossip way.

when we were young, we always thought that "words without shock and death" is the ability, but as we get older, we will understand, keep our mouth shut, and it is spiritual practice.

We can't help other people's suffering, but we don't have to talk about it.

other people's lives, we can understand a little, but we shouldn't add to them.

other people's choices, we can't empathize with them, but at least we can respect and tolerate them.

knowing people without judging others, the governor is silent, giving kindness to others and compassion to the years.

04

not arguing is not only a pattern of not rectifying things, but also focusing on self-wisdom;

not blaming is a lenient mind to treat others, but also self-cultivation;

not commenting is not only EQ, but also silent kindness.

I hope you and I both understand that if you keep your eyes fixed on other people's stories, you will forget to write your own wonderful stories.

be the protagonist in your own life, not the spectator of other people's stories.

share with my friends.