Three keys to self-healing: accept, change, and leave

nine times out of ten, there are unpleasant things in life.

many people say that they are unhappy. In the final analysis, they want too much and don't like too many things.

treat the world with optimism, even ordinary days will blossom.

as a saying in Shawshank's Redemption:

"if the heart is a cage, everywhere is a cage, freedom is not outside, but in the heart."

Adults have three keys to heal themselves: accept, change and leave.

if you learn these three points, you will be much happier.

01

first key: accept

there is such a short story.

one day, a psychology teacher took out a beautiful coffee cup when he was giving class to his students.

when the students were praising the cup, the teacher deliberately missed it and broke it.

looking at the debris on the ground, the students kept regretting.

the teacher smiled and pointed to the fragments of the coffee cup and said:

"you must feel sorry for this cup, but no matter how sorry you are, you can't restore the coffee cup to its original shape."

if something irreparable happens in your life in the future, please remember this broken coffee cup. "

in life, we often encounter some regrets.

but no matter how unwilling and reluctant you are, you can't make up for it or change it.

now that the matter is here and what is done is done, there is no need for rigidity and stalemate.

Thomas Carlisle, a famous philosopher, finally finished his first book at the age of 40, and he couldn't wait to show it to his good friend Muller.

Muller dared not live up to the great trust of his friends. he put off all his affairs, locked himself in his study, and spent four days reading the whole book carefully and completely.

when he finished reading the last page, he could not restrain his excitement. He put the manuscript on the chair, walked out of the study and went to the flower bed to think about how to use his influence so that this great work could attract the attention of the outside world as soon as possible.

when Muller left the study, a gust of wind blew the manuscripts on the chair all over the floor. When the maid who came to deliver dessert saw it, she thought it was the waste paper discarded by the owner, so she picked them up and threw them into the stove.

when Muller came to Carlisle's house and told Carlisle the unspeakable bad news, Carlisle was stunned and for a long time, both of them were silent.

finally, Carlisle, who woke up from the shock, said to his guilty friend:

I have seen such a passage:

in fact, there are always too many imperfect things in this world.

now that it has happened, it is difficult to change, so learn to face and accept it calmly.

if you force it, it will be difficult for yourself in the end.

if you struggle, you will end up hurting yourself.

02

the second key: change

Sanmao once wrote a sentence:

"complaining once in a while may be a catharsis of some kind of emotion."

but he is not smart to complain habitually without seeking change. "

in life, we often hear these complaints: hard work, hard life, hard money.

but in fact, there is no easy word in the adult world.

everyone has their own pressure and burden. Instead of complaining and consuming meaninglessly, we should learn to deal with and change actively.

writer Cai Lan once mentioned one thing in his book.

once, when Cai Lan was drinking tea in a restaurant, he saw a clown at the entrance and exit.

the clown is disguised as a young man, holding a pump in his hand, pumping the colored rubber ball into half the air, then folding it into a small ball, combining it into a Mickey Mouse and giving it to the children.

Cai Lan was curious and went up to chat with the young man.

the young man used to be an office messenger, but because of the pressure of life, he wanted to learn one more skill and earn some extra money.

Cai Lan asked him, who taught you how to be a balloon doll?

the young man said that there was no one to teach. He bought a book in the bookstore and learned to read and read.

is not high-tech. If you fail to learn, you can always learn.

Cai Lan asked about his income again.

he said that office buildings earn more than 4000 yuan a month, while part-time jobs earn more than 5000 yuan, which adds up to about 10,000 yuan a month.

Young people explain that every family goes to show them, every family goes to ask, one or two can always be found.

also in the face of the pressure of life, some people choose to complain negatively, others choose to change positively.

there is a good saying:

if you just complain and don't change, you won't get any better.

only by suffering more, suffering more, and having more abilities, can we have more choices and leeway.

there is never a dead end in life.

it's just that you don't try your best to think that there is no way ahead.

when you try your best, you will find a way out.

03

the third key: put down

A young man went to the mountain to consult the Zen master and said:

the young man said:

the young man said:

so, the Zen master handed him a teacup and poured hot water into it.

the Zen master said:

is aliveIn life, we always have too much persistence.

sometimes, the more persistent you are, the more likely you are to get deeper and deeper.

the more you fight, the easier it is to get yourself into a quagmire.

as long as you let go, everything will become lighter.

as long as you relax, everything will become light.

Pan Shiyi, a famous entrepreneur, wrote an article.

he mentioned that when he was a child, a distant uncle was a school teacher, but his children did not do well in school, but Pan Shiyi always scored 100 points, which made the uncle feel very humiliated.

because of his poor family composition, he was only qualified to wear a red scarf in the fourth grade of primary school, but when the teacher tied him a red scarf, the distant uncle, out of jealousy, picked him up in front of more than 100 students in the school. stand on the podium.

at that time, many naughty classmates spit on him, and some students were laughing at him. Several teachers begged their uncle to let him down, but his uncle wouldn't let him down.

so he stood on the podium for an hour or two, and the shadow of his childhood haunted him.

he held a grudge against this uncle for 34 years. Although this uncle passed away for many years, Pan Shiyi felt very unhappy every time he thought of him.

he originally thought that he held a grudge against his uncle, but he didn't expect that in the end, the one he didn't let go was himself.

perhaps, in everyone's life, there will be some things that you can't let go, can't let go, or even can't stop.

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but the more you worry about it, the more you will be heartbroken. The more you remember, the more painful it will be.

when we let go of our grievances against others, we can open and untie our hearts.

when we learn to let go of our grudges against others, we can alleviate and eliminate the torture we have inflicted on ourselves.

04

in fact, everyone has his own pain, injury and pain in his or her life.

as there is a saying:

when you accept what you must accept, there is no mountain that cannot be climbed.

when you change what can be changed, there is no barrier that you can't pass.

when you put down what should be put down, there is no knot that cannot be untied.

for the rest of your life, may you believe that

everything can be let go and let go, and everything is the best arrangement.

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