Top self-discipline: don't gossip, mind your own business, don't mess with others.

someone on the Internet asked: "what is the truth that you learned too late in your life?"

A highly praised answer goes like this: "none of my business" and "none of your business" can solve 80% of life's problems.

it seems a little crazy, but it makes a point.

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A person, only by taking good care of himself, not gossiping, meddling, and annoying others, can he achieve the peace of his ears, the peace of his heart, and the purity of interpersonal relationships, thus achieving true self-discipline.

01

do not gossip

the Book of changes says: "good people have few words."

"Kou Ming" says: "misfortune comes out of the mouth."

is enough to see how important it is to keep your mouth shut, but there are always some people who like to gossip behind their backs.

Lin Rui, played by Yin Tao in the hit TV drama "Youth", is a strong woman in the workplace.

once, her assistant, Cai Cai, chatted with her about gossip among colleagues.

Lin Rui looked at her quietly, very helpless, and said, "Cai Cai, I am very satisfied with everything you do, but this problem of gossiping makes people feel at ease."

Cai Cai nodded and Lin Rui continued, "do you know why you are not as progressive as others?" It's because you spend all your time improving yourself paying attention to the trivialities of others. "

some people's gossip hinders their progress, while others ruin their prospects.

there is also such a scene in the Atlas of Beijing Women.

Chen Ke, played by Qi Wei, originally wanted to recruit a group of interns, including a girl who was good-looking, young and highly educated, and was the only one to stay.

but there is only one problem, that is, he likes to talk about others behind his back.

once, she was talking about Chen Ke with a group of little girls in the toilet, and she happened to be heard by herself, and she directly lost the opportunity to become a regular employee.

Hemingway once said, "it takes a man two years to learn to speak, but a lifetime to learn to shut up."

is enough to see how difficult it is not to gossip.

however, as the old saying goes, "those who say right and wrong must be right and wrong."

A person who always focuses on how to talk about others will not only miss the opportunity to improve himself, but also put himself in a whirlpool of right and wrong.

so, keeping your mouth shut is not only a kind of self-discipline, but also a way to help you achieve a counterattack in life.

02

mind your own business

some people like to gossip, while others like to mind their own business. they seem to be sorry for the meaning of their existence without telling others what to do about their lives.

but there is a saying in the long Farewell: "meddling in other people's business will only lead to fishy clothes."

that's true. Nosy people are always a little annoying, more or less.

Aru has such a nosy colleague-Sister Zhang.

No matter what others do, Sister Zhang can't help taking care of it.

Aru wears a denim suit to work. Sister Zhang will say, "Aru, why are you always wearing such cheap clothes?"

Aru brought a bag of potato chips to the office. Sister Zhang would say, "Aru, you are so fat, why are you still eating?"

Aru had a boyfriend and showed it to the big guys at the colleagues' party, but Sister Zhang said in front of the big guys, "A little girl should be careful when she has a boyfriend. Who knows who the other person is behind her back?"

this makes Aru's face turn white and red, and her boyfriend also blames her for not saying nice things about herself in front of her colleagues.

for a while, the relationship between Aru and Sister Zhang was very tense.

after all, Aru hasn't worked for two years, so she doesn't have the money to buy so-called high-end clothes; she knows that she has an average figure and occasionally eats potato chips while exercising, while her boyfriend, who has been a friend for many years, became a regular worker.

and Sister Zhang's action is undoubtedly inserting a knife into her pain point again and again.

mind your own business, it is not only the embodiment of high EQ, but also a kind of self-cultivation.

there are many things in this world that are "honey of the other, arsenic of thine".

what you think is good may not be worth mentioning in the eyes of others, but what you think is bad may be hard for others to get.

respecting the choices of others is not only a measure, but also a kind of EQ.

Dickens once said, "the best courtesy is to mind your own business."

only when people interact with others and know how to leave a blank can they last a long time.

03

Don't bother people

people can neither meddle in other people's affairs nor provoke people who are too idle.

being with idle people will not only become complaining and complaining, but also hinder their long-term development.

Xiao sa is a typical example.

two years after graduation, I met Xiao sa again, and my friend found that she had changed a lot.

the original Xiao sa is a very sunny person, always brimming with a positive upward feeling.

but now, Xiao sa always complains from time to time, not the parents of this colleague, that is, the leader.

at first, friends didn't feel anything, but every time they met, Xiao sa always had two things in his mouth.

my friend was curious and asked Xiao sa what was going on.

it turns out that as soon as he graduated from college, Xiao sa entered a state-owned enterprise under the arrangement of his family. He lived a real life of "more money, less work, and closer to home," and he was surrounded by idle people waiting to retire.

as a grass-roots employee, every dayThey all drink tea, read newspapers, and then chat with colleagues in the office.

and colleagues' topics are always inseparable from all kinds of gossip.

for a moment, it's how this leader gets to the top, and then it's how that colleague sucks up.

over time, Xiao sa's life has all become this.

after being questioned by a friend, she suddenly realized that she could not go on like this.

she began to avoid the idle people in the office and concentrate her energies on reading, textual research and improving her working methods.

before long, Xiao sa's eyes seemed to have regained the light of the past. She no longer complained and stopped looking forward to Ai, but lived in a positive state.

as the saying goes, "there are many worries for idle people."

and you become the kind of person you are with.

not to disturb others is a person's greatest self-discipline.

because a life with too much leisure is not a blessing, but a disaster.

Shen Congwen once sighed: "I am most afraid of leisure in my life. I lose all the meaning of my life when I am idle."

have something to do every day, be loved, relax and combine work and rest, so that life can be carried out.

04

as the old saying goes, "if you are busy, you will solve a thousand worries."

it is true that those who do not gossip will not cause trouble; those who mind their own business will not lose their boundaries; and those who do not disturb others will not indulge in complaining.

the highest level of self-discipline is not to gossip, mind your own business, stay out of trouble, get rid of distractions and focus on yourself.

in this way, it can not only solve most of the problems in life, but also help you achieve real transcendence.