Your life will be whatever you feel.

the third uncle of the Southern School once said:

We always put the blame on "bad luck" when the results are not satisfactory, but we do not realize that the cause and effect of success or failure has laid the foreshadowing elsewhere.

as Qian Zhongshu said:

how many crossroads there are in life are driven in the wrong direction on impulse.

it is your mood that is more likely to drag you down than luck.

01

be in such a hurry

let others down

read such a post on Zhihu:

Boys especially like to raise fish when they are young. He taught himself a lot of professional knowledge, and spent a lot of time taking good care of it, keeping every fish in the tank healthy and beautiful.

but my father doesn't like him raising fish openly and secretly.

once, the boy's grandmother quietly fed the fish. As a result, the fish was fed too much, and the fish food polluted the water, causing the fish to break its fins.

when the boy heard this, he said to his grandmother:

who knows, the father on one side suddenly flew into a rage when he heard this. Without waiting for the boy to explain, he picked up the fish tank and threw the fish and water out of the window.

when the boy recovered, there were only a few drops of water hanging on the wall of the tank, and the carefully raised fish had already fallen on the dry and hard slate road.

in the four or five years since then, boys always have nightmares and shout when they wake up in the middle of the night:

at the end of the post, the grown-up boy wrote:

Xunzi said:

people, no matter how angry you are, you don't have to vent in the moment.

if the mood is too urgent, it will lead to impulse; after impulse, it is too late to repent.

compared with the rush to vent hatred, knowing how to ease the anger of the moment is the wise man's choice.

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I heard that in ancient times there was a fool who asked a philosopher for advice on how to obtain great wisdom.

the philosopher

the philosopher answered:

the fool went home doubtfully, only to find another person lying by his wife He was so angry that he pulled out his knife and was about to cut at the man.

when I dropped the knife, I suddenly remembered the words of the philosopher. He tried to advance and retreat three times in the same way. after calming down, he looked intently and found that it was his sick old mother who slept with his wife on the bed.

people are not saints, and although we cannot completely give up our emotions, we cannot allow impulse and anger to devour reason.

Zhang Jiajia said:

A quick mouth for a moment will hurt other people's hearts because of knife-like words; a moment of anger will be carried away by anger, causing lifelong regrets.

Don't let your emotions come in such a hurry. Really mature people know how to think twice before venting.

02

the mood is too strong

mistreated himself

in the variety show "Actors Please get in place", director Zhang Jizhong rarely said harsh words to a contestant:

the person he evaluated was actor Li Meng.

Li Mengzeng was a TV heroine chosen by Chen Zhongxin, the author of Bai Lu Yuan.

after she could join the group, she frequently quarreled with the director and producer and started to yell, so that the staff could not stop her.

in order to wait for her to ease her mood, the crew had to stop work temporarily. But for a long time, no one can serve such a "bad temper" people, we would rather shoot Li Meng's part for nothing, but also resolutely change roles.

after that, Li Meng's reputation of "bad temper and fierce emotion" quickly spread throughout the entertainment circle, and no film dared to use her any more, and there were fewer and fewer good scripts.

there is a saying in Zhuangzi:

when a person can't control the outburst of emotion, eventually, he will be eaten back by emotion and end up in desolation.

those who are close to them are afraid of being angry, so they can only stay away; passers-by are afraid of being implicated in the wind.

the hard-built business, the image of many years of operation, and the originally bright road ahead have all been destroyed at once.

as Dr. Hai Lan said:

in the Beijing Women's Atlas, Chen Ke was furious on the spot because his client was late in traffic jam, and he was angry at the customer for being impolite.

even if the client apologized and explained the situation, she still threw the client to the assistant and left without forgiveness.

this incident has put Chen Ke's company on the customer blacklist, and it is impossible to continue to cooperate within two years.

as a result, Chen Ke was scolded by her boss, and her impression of key words changed from reliable and stable to grumpy and unprofessional.

Bacon once said:

restraining one's temper for a moment can make a whole man; indulgence can also destroy a man when he gets out of control.

by an inch, by a thousand miles. In the end, the popularity is ruined, the connection is broken, and the hearts of the people are scattered.

you are the one whose gain outweighs the gain.

03

out-of-control emotions

hiding an out-of-control life

there has been an ironic scene at the counter of the shopping mall in Dayue City, Beijing.

because she was in a bad mood, a young girl scribbled on the dresser with a trial lipstick placed on the counter.

as soon as the clerk saw it, she came to stop her.

who knew that the girl was out of control in an instant, grabbed the lipstick on the counter, dropped a lot of lipstick on the floor, and broke most of the lipstick on the shelf in a few seconds.

seeing that the situation could not be cleaned up, the shop assistant called security at once. As a result, the girl collapsed even more when she saw the security guard coming, and she had to cut her wrists when she picked up the glass scraps on the ground.

although he was finally rescued by the security guard, he was also detained for trial on suspicion of provoking trouble.

also out of control to madness, there is a couple in Chongqing.

they had an argument by their car, and their wife wanted to drive.The car left, but the mad husband slammed up the window and stopped the car with his body.

the wife stepped on the accelerator and crashed into her husband, trying to force him to leave. Who knows a foot hard, the car accelerated, was pushed on the hood of the husband, directly thrown out, died on the spot.

later, my wife, shivering and squatting in the police station, said blankly, "I wish I hadn't been so angry at that time."

A sentence said by Euripides can explain the above two stories:

in just a few seconds, a good girl changed from well-dressed and well-behaved to rolling all over the floor, crying and howling.

within a few minutes, a good couple has changed from the closest pillow to the relationship between the victim and the murderer.

but that's what he said:

so don't underestimate the power of bad emotions. Maybe if you're not careful, you'll end up with the rest of your life.

04

emotion management expert Dr. Ronald said:

the luck of a person's life may be hidden in this short 12 seconds.

4 seconds to be considerate of others, no matter how angry you are, don't worry;

4 seconds comfort yourself, no more complaints, don't spray;

4 seconds calm down, no more trifles, don't make trouble.

your life is whatever you feel.

Don't let a bad mood drive away your good luck.